Michael Gomez
Gomez is a stand-up comic.
Recent Comments
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Should KU fire Mark Mangino?
No. His coaching methods are intense, but nothing worth getting fired over.
On the upside, he is the only coach in football who's closet resembles a Ripley's Believe it or Not exhibit.
It's rare to own a T-shirt that doubles as a king size fitted sheet.
However, I am shocked by his actions. Everyone knows football is no place for aggression.
If that's your mindset, take your ass to figure skating.
Football is about passivity and conflict resolution. Wait, what? NO! Yes, he yells at players, yes the only thing not threatened by him is produce, but he delivers what he was hired to deliver ... results.
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As a leader, I think Sarah Palin is ...
... in need of some more polishing.
I think Sarah Palin is best suited for being Paula Dean's bacon-wrapping assistant or the host of a makeover segment on "Good Mornig Wasilla."
Apparently her new book is filled with awesome assault rifle word finds and Mad Libs about how to resign any position.
Her career needs a celebrity sex tape... "A Night With Sarah Palin," "A Ticket to Saradise", "Saranormal Activity." Hello, is this thing on?
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Rio or Chicago? Who should have the Olympics?
Neither. This is an example of a time I wish I cared about sports and where they were hosted. Of all the things I've said in my life, "hey we're getting together to get wasted and watch rowing" has never been one of them. I do like what Rio has done with Carnival and who doesn't want an opening ceremony that includes Serena Williams in a thong and head dress. Time to tuck your third leg, Serena!
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What are your plans for Labor Day weekend?
I will be in town this holiday weekend providing the best in quality entertainment to K.C. This Saturday September 5th, I'll be performing at Davey's Uptown at 8pm along with fellow comedian Dustin Kaufman. In addition the following bands are scheduled to perform: Brutally Frank, The Factory Workers, The 45 St. Porch Band, Bleachbloodz, The Beat Common and special guest Two Gun Tease Burlesque.
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Which side of the health-care debate do you fall on?
2)The U.S. should have private insurance, a public plan would drive private insurers out of business.
Have you ever been to the DMV? Pretty smooth, huh? If you have the government running your hospitals you're going to have insurance claims that make Bill Gates tax return look like a connect the dots. If you think a state appointed lawyer doesn't give a damn wait till you get a state appointed surgeon. He's going to experiment on you like it was Auschwitz in 1945. You're going to go in for a hernia operation and come out with gills in the side of your neck and pregnant with a baby rhino. Plus just wait till you get to usher your kid with a broken femur through the 30 foot rope maze at the department of medical procedures. Remember, government offices are closed on the weekend so don't get sick on Sundays.
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What's your favorite John Hughes movie?
"Ferris Bueller’s Day Off." For me the 80's were Ron Reagan, Michael Jackson and John Hughes movies. My childhood would've been drastically different if not for "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "Sixteen Candles." To this day I still try to book reservations under the name Abe Froman. That's right, the sausage king of Chicago. His ability to capture the angst of youth without being trite was unique. You would watch his movies and think: “He's been to my school, it’s exactly the same.” When you're young its comforting to feel like you're not alone. I still can't believe he's gone. Life moves pretty fast right?
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Should the Chiefs sign Michael Vick?
Yes. Of course we should, he's a reformed man. I don't know if you heard but apparently in prison Michael Vick found Jesus. And upon finding him he immediately chained him to a tire axle in his back yard and made him fight Buddha. 10-1 odds on the Christ child. Say what you want about him but he gets things done. Those dog fights stared on time and his record was better than the Chiefs. Obviously I'm joking.
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What's your go-to format for listening to music?
MP3
Rationale:
Technology is a broad concept that deals with a species' usage and knowledge of tools and crafts, and how it affects a species' ability to control and adapt to its environment. As much as we hate change it is inevitable. If anything exists, by natural design it has a beginning and adversely a timely demise which is a positive thing. The beauty of an experience is the mere fact that it is fleeting. When that experience is a technological idea its inception marks two things: the dawn of a new concept and the fact a more efficient one will emerge. To become stagnate in a technological form is to symbolically thumb your nose at scientific and social evolution. We hate to be reminded that we're aging. The fact that our beloved format we jammed out to in junior high is being eradicated from the paradigm only illustrates that point with fervent conceit. Only by challenging modern concept do we progress. You can't discover the frontier of the cosmos in a covered wagon.
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Should the state give $1.5 million to the Tour of Missouri?
Maybe. What does this $1.5 million go to? Advertising? Because I've never heard of it. When I was a kid we had bike races all the time and our budget was $0. We went to the Gas & Shop where air for our tires was free, shoplifted a couple packs of Wyler's soft drink mix from Falley's (even when we shoplifted we went cheap) and made a trophy out of a Thundercat we spray painted gold. $3.3 million budget? You're killing me, Smalls!
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Do you still want a paper phone book?
No. The paper phone book is as irrelevant as the Commodore 64 or a Betamax or as my buddy says, The Kansas City Star. Hell, other than the "Antiques Roadshow," the last time I saw one was when I nervously looked up Ashley Behlen's phone number in the third grade. I think I could get my hands on a Hypercolor shirt before I could a paper phone book.
