This is why we can't have nice things, Kansas City

Last night Cherryh Butler and I were lucky enough to get press passes and, more importantly, after-party wristbands to the world premiere of "All Roads Lead Home," a new movie from Kansas City director Dennis Fallon, starring Jason London, ultra-hottie Vanessa Branch, Peter Coyote, Vivien Cardone and the late Peter Boyle and while the movie had its own issues, the events surrounding the premiere were far more frustrating.

The cast arrived to the show early, which meant they had to hang out in the sun with roughly three members of the media, Cherryh and I included. On the bright side, they did get to pet some sweet puppy dogs from the animal shelter, No More Homeless Pets KC.

Then the stars were whisked inside the Plazzio 16, for the meet-and-greet. Of course, no one thought to put up any of the "All Roads Lead Home" posters or other promotional materials, so if you were to watch any video or look at any photos it would look like the discussion was being held for "Madagascar 2."

Oh, and the meet-and-greet was so painfully awkward it felt like a blind date with 20 people. No one spoke and when they did, questions usually involved the following three topics: whether the actors and actresses had pets, location shooting in KC and the film's influence on the cast's relationship with animals. It got so awkward at one point, Jason London made this face:

But the coup de grace came during the screening itself.

There was no mic for Fallon to speak to when he addressed the crowd, so he had to shout over a packed theater of parents, kids and the elderly. This did not go well.

After a muted discussion about the movie, in which Fallon gave propers to his cast and crew, most of which were there, he announced that they would show the trailer before the movie, for some reason. But after a few seconds of Baz Lurhman's 'Australia' the trailer failed to start and we were told shortly that instead of the trailer, we'd jump straight to the movie.

But guess what, when the movie started the Palazzo 16 logo appeared backwards and the audio waveform could be seen on the screen. This lead to another interruption and then finally the movie. But whoops, someone forgot to calibrate the projector, so for the first scene, half of the image was cut off and the boom mic was clearly visible.

It's important to mention also that the cast and crew weren't sitting seperately from the rest of the crowd and while that isn't a big deal at press or special screenings, it's a little offputting when the crowd is adamantly cheering any time they see a Kansas City landmark or someone they know. One couple had the gall to carry on a conversation throughout the movie's runtime — and they were sitting behind the director.

While this isn't the next Spielberg or even Bruckheimer movie, the message this sends to any outside talent is clear: The stereotypes are true, don't come here. If we can't be on our best behavior for Randall "Pink" Floyd and the Orbitz girl, how are we going to act when a major star or project shows up here? Oh, wait, it'll never happen.