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Not pictured: Jennifer Garner, George Lucas, Kanye West, Steven Spielberg, Fallout Boy, Rage Against The Machine, Oprah Winfrey, Rosario Dawson, Spike Lee and a bunch of other famous people more important than these four nobodies.
Like, OMG you guys. Did you see the democratic national convention this week? It was totes awesome. I mean, when it comes to politics and stuff I’m usually like, ‘Whatevs, is ‘Gossip Girl’ or ‘The Hills’ on?” But this year there were, like, celebs and music and stuff I recognized. It was great.
Jessica Alba was there, her newest [Japanese horror remake] was totally scary. But she looked good in it, even if she’s got a bit of the fat face going on.
Oh, and Oprah was there, my mom along with every other middle-aged woman or cat-lady-in-training loves her. She cried so hard during Obama’s speech she lost her eyebrows. True story.
Fergalicious was there too. She’s so hot and I totally agree with her foreign policy platform. Poor people are gross.
And geez-oh-peas, the Chinese dude from Lost was there! I cried so hard when he died [spoiler alert].
A friend of mine told me that Ben Affleck was there, too. He read a book, presumabley after he finished coloring it.
But the music was so-so. I mean it started out great with John Legend and will.i.am or somebody else cool I saw on MTV Jams. But then this one old guy with dreads and dark sunglasses danced around and then this old, white guy played some dumb song about America. The last act of the night was some weird, spoken-word thing from a guy in a suit. I didn’t get what the fuss was about, but everyone else was really into it. Boooorrriiiinnngggg. Hopefully, they’ll get the line-up sorted out in time for next year.
But inspite of the convention’s kinks, it was a great show. Tons of celebrities and good music and now I know who to vote for, I mean what better endorsement than Fez from “That Seventies Show?”
*all facts courtesy of the AP