ok, I wanna start a little dialoge here, get some views on this. Because my take on this topic, while not unique, is apparently still considered weird. But I find the alternative weirder.

Does anyone else find it downright bizarre and a little degrading that the accepted practice is that, upon formalizing a relationship, the woman is expected to take her husband's last name and relinquishing her own?

I understand full well the historical "necessity" of such a practice. But it seems that, a few centuries have passes since the notion that a woman was a man's possession. You'd think that 30+ years post women's lib, the practice would be considered archaic.

Some of the alternatives: a hyphenated last name, the husband taking on the wife's name (oh that one always THRILLS the grooms family!), or my favorite: come up with a new family name together, one that you can both invent and embrace. Picking your new family name could be as meaningful and fun as picking the name for your child.

What do you all think? Are we paying lip service to an obsolete tradition? Or is this kind of thinking a threat to all that is holy and American?

Why not take two last names? We all have two last names in Spanish countries, and the individual partners keep theirs. Still, it doesn't accomodate everyone's feminist views, since the father's last name transfers first, and if you have daughters, it means that your grandchildren from her will not carry your last name.

The american system doesn't really allow for two last names. (I had to drop my maternal last name when I immigrated). And still in the end, only the patrilineal name gets carried on (against all common sense, as the mother is the only certainty in a birth).

A third option would be for the partners to switch names: he takes her last name as she takes his. But this situation where she's presumed to take his name and his doesn't change, that's bull. aren't both people transformed by the union?

perhaps i should've given this more thought. with pending nuptials i just figured i'd take mr. me's last name in spirit and home life, but for professional reasons keep "practicing my trade" under my maiden name. i'm licensed as such and have created a strong client base and name for myself...................

my first name is pretty unique though. is my plan (take his but still use mine) feasible? please advise.

i'm all for tradition, but historically men were the breadwinners. what happens when it's the wife's money/womanhood primarily being shared? take her last name? i'm curious. j/k. kinda.......