He works for Mountain Dew. Imagine, you are running low on energy, you can't maintain an erection, and you need to drink a strawberry/watermelon beverage a day to conform to your races stereotypical behaviors. You can do the following: Drink a Mountain Dew Pop a viagra and drive to the hood for watermelon soda OR You can drink a Mountain Dew Supernova, which I imagine is the closest I am getting to heaven for a while. This drink is magic, it revitalizes you, puts money in your wallet and food on your table, it teaches you magic tricks, it walks your dog, it makes people like you, and most importantly it taste good. Consider this my endorsement for this product.

This is what (almost) happened this weekend. I cannot tell the same story to my male friends as I can to my female friends (they want different levels of detail). So here is the story of a weekend, as told to a man and a woman. Notice the length of the stories, maybe these do not accurately depict the level of detail the sexes crave but I tried.

Man: So I picked her up, and I knew instantly I probably was not going to get laid.. I hadn’t seen her in years, but she was still sexy, maybe even hotter than before. She had been away, meeting famous people. I stuck around, but at least I had my band. Her words made me feel stuff, I probably wasn’t getting laid. We left and I gave her a tour. . I took her to a jazz club, she must have liked it because she danced a lot I was tired; She seemed kind of drunk and kept mumbling something about the past.she was drunk so we went to bed. She woke up, she looked great and we watched that Beatles movie. We got dressed up and went out to eat. I forgot she was a vegetarian so she just got a salad. My food was great though. We went to power and light, she looked great. We made out for a little bit, I decided to take her home and try my luck. We got home and got naked. I thought it was a sure thing but she just wanted to talk and stuff. I ended up passing out. When I woke up she was gone. She took a flight back home and left me with nothing. I decided I probably wouldn’t call try that again, she was pretty cool, and after all I know tons of girls. I wasted two days on what could have been a phone call and some pictures, but at least I got to see her naked.

What if in our search for perfection, we create our own reality, and in this reality we do not give others the consideration they deserve… What if you only see people the way you choose to and cannot accept or comprehend any difference? What if in life we search so hard for this perceived perfection, we miss all of the imperfections that make us unique… What if we could rid these silly concepts from our minds, and actually accept and embrace individuality, imagine where we would be in five, ten, or twenty years. They say let he who is without sin cast the first stone… I say its time to stop throwing rocks my friends.

But what do I know? I am only 20…

My name is Brandon, and for the past 4 years I have been the victim of "oneitis" it is a disease that, this year alone will claim the lives of 92873871782639082973510 men and 3 women. I need hardcore advice, and I need it soon.

A few days ago on my face book I posted the following

When he was 2 years old he fell out of a second story window and fractured his skull; when the was 6 he mistakenly drank boric acid; when he was 9 he fell over a small cliff and broke his leg; when he was 11 he contracted measles and was in a coma for nine days; when he was 14 he broke his arm when he caught it in a carriage door; when he was 19 he was struck in the head by a falling brick; when he was 23 he almost died from the effects of tainted wine; when he was 29 Adolph Sax invented the saxophone.

If you happen to play this "instrument" all I can say other than stop is to forward this to as many people as you can. This reeded duck shaped monstrosity must be stopped. By the way you will never be as good as Charlie Parker so why bother. Also Coltrane was better than you.

- read more

If you thought the title was a serious question and trust my logic and do NOT feel the need to read on but just want the answer to said question, the answer is NO. For those of you who would like to know what prompted this question and subsequent answer read on...

In today the world is all about how you market things: Music, Religion, Politics, Sports, and the topic of this prose Race. In the past few years I have noticed political correctness is getting a little bit out of hand, who is to blame? Who sets these standards? If some one offends some one or a group of people WHO are they to answer to?

For instance if I were to go out somewhere public and yell at the top of my lungs, I hate white people... Who would I have to answer to? Maybe the police if the disturbance caused was big enough but probably no one. If I were to do the same to Asians, Jews, Women or most other "groups" nothing would happen.

BUT lets say I get famous (not even really famous, just a little notoriety) and I decided to say something about Black people (maybe this would have more of an effect if I were white) then based on previous assumptions I wouldn't have to answer to anyone. That assumption is wrong because in the black community, exists a duo that requires atonement for any wrong doing to the Black community. This duo is what I call the Batman and Robin of the Black Community. Now who is this dynamic duo I speak of? The infamous Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, who have systematically assumed responsibility for all anti-black sentiments in America.

This power duo has taken it upon themselves to be the "police of offensive behavior towards people of color" good for them right? WRONG who asked them, short answer NO ONE. But the black community for years and years has had to deal with more than its fair share of harsh and irrational treatment, but in a majority of cases the people responsible were dealt with (fact: 100% of pre civil war slave owners died). That unfair treatment continues to this day, but in a country that preaches freedom of speech why is it, and I am not advocating ill will towards blacks, why is it if you offended a small sector of the black community you have to answer to the Dynamic Duo?

Now I am sure you are wondering... Why attack Jesse and Al? They are helping keep people accountable for potentially offensive actions. Keeping people accountable is a noble enough cause, and maybe if it were ANYONE else doing it I would not be so against it. BUT, the two men who people feel the need to answer to are both to stubborn to atone for their OWN actions, so why anyone in their right mind would apologize to these two men who have taken it upon themselves to define the course of action taken by black America is beyond me.

When Michael Richards said the N word at one of his comedy shows black America was in a furor, and what ended that furor? A meeting with the power duo. After that things have been relatively smooth for Mr. Richards.

In 1984 Jesse Jackson referred to New York as Hymietown for his high population of Jews... His response to this was he didn't remember what he said exactly, and that it was said in confidence anyway. He answered to no one.

Sharpton has made offensive remarks about homosexuals, he has since gone on record and apologized for his actions. BUT he didn’t have to speak to Elton John or watch Will and Grace to do it. I really don’t have nearly as much against Mr. Sharpton as I do with Jesse Jackson (who’s personal transgressions should have him answer to many people, not the least of which being Barack Obama and Maury Povich).

I'm black and im proud... right?

Hello friends, old and new. My name is Brandon, and I am an "African-American" male who was raised in the Norman Oklahoma in the 90's. Both of my parents are college educated, and have groomed me for a similar lifestyle. Since I was 10 years old, I have been told by almost all of my friends, both white and black, that I am the "whitest black guy they know". For a while I wore this "honor" right on my sleeve, and had no problem using this to my "advantage".