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November 2008
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Damn you, Netflix!!

Have you seen this movie? It's kind of like a serious "American Psycho."

Where are my freakin' movies?

I ordered "The Incredibles" like a week ago after I was blown away by "Wall-E" and still, you haven't delivered.

I wanted "Wall Street," the Oliver Stone-directed '80s flick about big-shot stock market honchos in NYC, and you didn't give me that, either, so I had to get it from the library. Grrr...

To top it all off, you still don't have the movie "Paranoid Park" in stock. I've been waiting to see this Gus Van Sant gem for months now, but I guess you don't think it's good enough to make your list. What's your problem?

Oh, that's your problem: a technical glitch. This Reuters article at msnbc.com explains it all. You've got a problem with your delivery system and you don't know how to fix it.

Well, please get on it soon. Because I'm seriously addicted to the services you provide and I can't go another week without seeing "The Last of the Mohicans."

That's right: you were there for me in my Daniel Day-Lewis phase, when I watched "My Left Foot," "The Crucible" and "In the name of the Father" back-to-back whilst doing massive amounts of laundry and closet-reorganizing.

You were there for me when I became obsessed with the TV shows "Curb Your Enthusiasm," "Tom Goes to the Mayor" and the British version of "The Office." I'll grant you that.

But damn it, Netflix, if you don't get this problem fixed come Halloween time I'm going to have to reconsider (read: cancel) my subscription. I'm planning a horror movie pig-out of epic proportions, and if you stand in my way, so help me Bruce Campbell I will go Blockbuster on your ass. (or at least Liberty Hall Video)

I'll let this slide. But don't let it happen again.

(5) Comments

Posted on: Aug 14 2008 - 03:50:00 PM

Tags: MOVIES NETFLIX

5 Comments - leave comment

Poetry

Posted 14 weeks ago by Gonzo the Great

I got the vague email too. Their shipping system is down. I guess the netflix warehouse works like a giant jukebox, slipping DVDs into their white sleeves and stuffing them in envelopes. I just kind of assumed they had little elves (maybe Santa's crew getting some off season work) working in assembly line fashion to send me Cannibal Holocaust and Harry Potter. Are the elves on strike? Is the jukebox broken? Somebody call the Fonz.

Posted 14 weeks ago by SavageAnimal

Your theory seems sound. "Cannibal Holocaust" and "Harry Potter?" I like your style.

Posted 13 weeks ago by Sarah Benson

Y'know, you are either onboard with the Netflix concept of _you_ get it when _they_ decide or you aren't. Otherwise, go to Blockbuster.

Posted 13 weeks ago by p-arch

You forgot to mention the fact 3 out of 4 times I have to stop the movie and clean the disc. And when I complained they sent me a disc that my DVD player wouldn't even recognize! (Blockbuster DVDs go 10 for 10 on this player). I sent the bad disc back in pieces...

Posted 12 weeks ago by DaddyWarbucks