Want to be wanted? Make yourself scarce

Ugh. Why do we have to play these games? I guess because they work.

The Dating Game: Want to be wanted? Make yourself scarce

By Fred Gonzalez

McClatchy Newspapers

 Keep them wanting more.

 That mantra works in show business. It works for Fortune 500 companies. And it works for single guys in the dating world.

 My buddies and I talk about it all the time. We call it ”The Scarcity Rule” and it’s a very basic, simple rule. When you meet a woman and go out on a few dates, you want to make yourself a wanted commodity, so you make sure you’re not available all the time. Only on your time.

 Sure it sounds selfish, and many times we want to tell someone that changing our schedule around is not a problem to accommodate a possible date. But saying no every once in a while, employing the scarcity rule, makes the guy that much more wanted for a future date.

 “When you answer the phone always tell them you’re busy even if you’re not,” a friend of mine in the film industry said. “Women like to hear from a man who has a lot of things going on, whether it’s at work or a hobby. They don’t want someone who’s just lying around eating cheese and watching television.”

 A friend of mine met a guy on Match.com and she had a pair of really good dates. Then he started getting busy with his work and for a couple weeks vanished from the radar. She was bummed and wondered if perhaps he didn’t like her. I suggested she wait, that he may really be busy (and employing the rule). Regardless, he was on her mind as someone who seemed unattainable. He finally did e-mail back, much to her excitement, and they have planned another date. It’s a delicate balance. If you wait too long, you lose the girl.

 The Scarcity Rule is kind of like knowing the perfect time to leave the house party or dinner party on a high note so as to not overextend your stay. (Think back to Seinfeld’s George Costanza and his “OK, that’s it for me, folks. I’m outta here” episode. Timing is everything.)

 A perfect example of the Scarcity Rule can be found now in the video game world with Nintendo’s Wii gaming system.

 The Wii is the hottest selling video game on the planet, nearly everyone is passionately pursuing one, but it’s also the hardest to find in any store. When you meet someone who has one, they are instantly greeted with a “No way” or “Where did you find that?”

 A recent search for a Wii led me to 15 stores, from the Targets and Wal-Marts to the video game boutiques. None had it. Finally, on a Sunday morning, the Best Buy at Dadeland Station had 20 Wiis. They had received a shipment the night before. CoolGirl and I rushed to the store. By the time we arrived, there were 10 left and I was in luck.

 However, the scarcity rule comes with a catch. Sure you can keep busy, have different things taking up time in your life, and work a dating schedule to your advantage. But you can’t keep doing it with the same person for long. The novelty eventually wears off. So the real challenge lies in surviving past the scarcity rule once you start dating someone on a regular basis.

 Will you still seem as exciting?

 Will the rare moments you had together be as fun as the moments you can have with more regularity?

 Will you get tired of your Wii after playing a few games?