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I am a 27-year-old Kansas City transplant from Michigan. I am in no way a dating expert. In fact, I often have a love-hate relationship with dating. But when it comes to talking about dating, it's all love.

October 2008
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Archives

2008 (143)
- October (5)
  - 7th: Suddenly single? - 9:35 am
  - 6th: Soccer, lovers and girls in bikinis - 9:45 am
  - 3rd: Dating and texting - 10:30 am
  - 2nd: Don't go on a date if ... - 11:30 am
  - 1st: Wedding belles - 9:25 am
- September (24)
  - 30th: Guest blog: Name this sex act - 9:45 am
  - 29th: The God of the hook-ups - 9:55 am
  - 26th: Girls all around the world - 10:15 am
  - 25th: Late-night sex - 1:05 am
  - 24th: Like Pam and Tommy Lee's sex tape ... - 9:55 am
  - 23rd: Umm ... you suck in the sack - 8:00 am
  - 22nd: How not to be psycho - 11:15 am
  - 19th: Talk is cheap - 12:05 am
  - 18th: Do you need flirting lessons? - 10:40 am
  - 17th: Words from the wise - 9:35 am
  - 16th: Playing into male fantasies - 2:20 pm
  - 15th: Betrayals - 10:35 am
  - 15th: What's the worst way you've been blown off - 10:00 am
  - 12th: Did Ink get you laid? - 10:50 am
  - 11th: Guys, would you get snipped? - 9:20 am
  - 10th: Speaking of self pleasure - 9:10 am
  - 10th: Marrying the wrong man - 9:00 am
  - 9th: Sex on the first date - 8:05 am
  - 8th: The weekend fling - 10:30 am
  - 5th: Bringing home the bacon - 11:20 am
  - 4th: More from the "that's not hot" files - 9:50 am
  - 3rd: My services are free - 3:05 pm
  - 2nd: Moms and sex - 9:05 am
  - 1st: Bad in bed - 9:40 am
- August (22)
  - 29th: Sex addiction? I'm not buying it - 11:15 am
  - 28th: Flair for your package? - 3:40 pm
  - 27th: Church hookups - 10:10 am
  - 26th: Why was I dissed? - 9:40 am
  - 25th: What is cheating? - 9:30 am
  - 22nd: Spray-on condoms? Really? - 9:00 am
  - 21st: The condom song - 9:15 am
  - 20th: Did we have sex last night? - 9:10 am
  - 19th: Like a virgin - 10:10 am
  - 18th: Spider-Man has his curse, I have mine - 9:20 am
  - 15th: Guest blog: Labor of long-distance love - 10:00 am
  - 14th: No need to knock the cobwebs off ... - 10:30 am
  - 13th: Dating tips, as promised - 11:05 am
  - 12th: This site is killing the game - 9:00 am
  - 11th: Guest blog: Newly Defined Soul Mates - 9:55 am
  - 8th: Rude breakup behavior - 10:05 am
  - 7th: The sexiest movie you've ever seen - 10:55 am
  - 6th: Hot for teacher - 11:25 am
  - 5th: Speaking of sex - 4:20 pm
  - 4th: Y'all are weak - 4:45 pm
  - 2nd: Guest Blog: On loving her best friend - 9:20 am
  - 1st: Guest blog: The online dating adventure continues - 12:05 pm
- July (24)
  - 31st: Secret lovers - 10:40 am
  - 30th: Doing it big in relationships - 9:05 am
  - 29th: Breakup rituals - 9:25 am
  - 28th: Try these condoms on for size - 11:15 am
  - 26th: Being "The Bachelor" - 2:35 pm
  - 25th: Guest blog: An online dating adventure begins - 9:35 am
  - 24th: Want to be wanted? Make yourself scarce - 9:15 am
  - 23rd: When bad timing happens to good people - 7:10 am
  - 22nd: I won't do THAT - 9:00 am
  - 21st: Seniors take to online dating - 9:15 am
  - 18th: Bad kissers and how to stop them - 6:45 am
  - 17th: Guest blog: Focused on the wrong girl - 8:10 am
  - 16th: Women arrested in oral competition - 11:00 am
  - 15th: How far would you drive for love? - 7:40 am
  - 14th: Backups for the bedroom - 6:40 am
  - 11th: Your timing sucks - 6:50 am
  - 10th: Guest Blog: Man eBay - 6:00 am
  - 9th: Confessions of a serial monogamist - 10:20 am
  - 8th: Guest blog: Tell The Truth ... - 1:10 am
  - 7th: Do you online stalk? - 7:30 am
  - 4th: Make some fireworks - 2:35 am
  - 3rd: Shut up and kiss me - 1:35 am
  - 2nd: Once it hits your lips, it's so good - 3:40 am
  - 1st: Be loud ladies, monkey men like it. - 5:15 am
- June (16)
  - 30th: A pimp or a loser? - 12:40 pm
  - 30th: Four girls, a keg and a big idea - 7:50 am
  - 27th: Guest blog: Oneitus - 8:00 am
  - 26th: Guest blog: Whatever happened to dating? - 8:00 am
  - 25th: "in case we had sex I didnt want to remember" - 9:35 am
  - 25th: Young people doin' the nasty - 8:00 am
  - 23rd: Old people doin' the nasty - 9:00 am
  - 13th: Taking three men at a time - 1:05 pm
  - 12th: I regulate every shade of that ... - 2:25 pm
  - 12th: SiKC - 11:40 am
  - 12th: Coming up for air - 10:00 am
  - 11th: Is it art or is it porn? - 12:30 pm
  - 11th: "What makes a date movie?" - 6:25 am
  - 9th: Sex: how much is enough? - 4:30 pm
  - 5th: "Looking for girls in all the wrong places" - 3:05 pm
  - 4th: More places to find dates - 9:20 pm
- May (5)
  - 22nd: Steamy summer spots - 1:50 pm
  - 19th: "My ex-girlfriend loved Celine Dion" - 12:05 pm
  - 19th: Buying condoms and the walk of shame - 7:30 am
  - 14th: Personal massager? - 12:20 pm
  - 11th: Date at your own risk - 6:30 pm
- April (46)
  - 29th: Are you a woman under 26? - 11:30 am
  - 28th: Cheater, cheater pumkin eater - 11:55 am
  - 25th: Mood music - 10:10 am
  - 25th: Candles. Cheesedick or romantic? - 9:35 am
  - 24th: What boys are teaching me - 3:00 pm
  - 22nd: The best policy - 2:10 am
  - 21st: Don't sweat the haters - 10:15 pm
  - 21st: Breakup sex, the saga continues - 12:15 pm
  - 18th: Under the skin - 11:45 pm
  - 18th: Dating hasn't changed much - 11:35 pm
  - 18th: That's f'ing rude - 10:00 pm
  - 18th: "We-jaculation" - 9:55 pm
  - 18th: Jerk Island - 3:35 pm
  - 18th: When did you get married? - 12:55 pm
  - 18th: That ain't sexy - 11:20 am
  - 18th: Single girl army - 9:10 am
  - 18th: Getting the digits - 12:15 am
  - 17th: Magic number - 10:30 pm
  - 17th: Mr. "I just wanna get married" - 9:20 pm
  - 17th: Yes, he'd hit that - 9:15 pm
  - 17th: You can quote me - 7:35 pm
  - 17th: You slept with that? - 6:30 pm
  - 17th: Woman power - 2:10 pm
  - 17th: Look at that body - 12:25 pm
  - 17th: Duped by a dork - 10:00 am
  - 17th: It's always something - 12:15 am
  - 16th: Talk sexy to me - 10:55 pm
  - 16th: What's in your boxers? - 9:55 pm
  - 16th: This one's for you, married people - 9:35 pm
  - 16th: Personality types - 8:25 pm
  - 16th: Dating technology - 6:20 pm
  - 16th: First dates - 12:05 pm
  - 15th: Going it alone - 9:25 pm
  - 15th: Sex and the single mom - 4:05 pm
  - 15th: Boyfriend material vs. bedroom material - 2:30 am
  - 14th: Was your prom this dramatic? - 8:35 pm
  - 14th: Living single - 8:30 pm
  - 14th: Well, we still have "hot hate sex" - 6:05 pm
  - 14th: just to clarify - 5:35 pm
  - 14th: Stop with the Va-jay-jay - 1:15 am
  - 13th: You've thought about it ... - 2:10 am
  - 12th: Quit hating on online dating - 5:40 pm
  - 12th: Breakup sex: The beginning - 2:35 am
  - 11th: SINGLES OUT -- a story from 2005 - 2:10 am
  - 3rd: 'Good sex lasts 3 to 13 minutes' - 9:25 am
  - 1st: This week's tip: Leave the panties on - 11:40 am
- March (1)
  - 31st: Last chance for FREE stuff! - 5:25 pm

I won't do THAT

448 Views

My aunt once said sex, money and control are three of the biggest things people argue about in a relationship. What do you think? I think I agree to an extent.

My friend is dating this boy. She found out he's bad at some foreplay stuff. Too shy. He has things he won't do unless it's a special occasion. You've heard about the people who reserve certain sexual favors for "birthdays and holidays only." It sounds like he may be like that.

Hmm. It's no crime for women to like sex. And if they are going to become boyfriend and girlfriend, she would want all the perks. Is being bad in the bedroom a deal breaker? Is even being a bad kisser a deal breaker?

We all know you can't get everything you want in dating. If you don't
know that, you should. It's like I read in A New Ladies Man: A
Complete Guide to Getting, Pleasing and Keeping the Girl by Colin
Mortensen:

"Most guys are constantly measuring girls up to a benchmark that
doesn't exist: perfection. The right girl has to have the Perfect
Body. The Perfect Face. The Perfect Personality. The reality is that
there is no perfection."

But what are the things you can't put up with?

Are people who are bad at sex or unwilling to do certain things (and I am not talking about stuff that is super freaky) even more important than dealing with someone who maybe doesn't have breasts (or other body parts) the size that you'd like?

(3) Comments

Posted on: Jul 22 2008 - 09:00:00 AM

Tags: DATING KISSING SEX

3 Comments - leave comment

It really is a maturity thing...sorry to say. If the most important stuff to someone with the opposite sex is sex, or what kind of sex, or how the body parts look...ya kinda gotta stop thinking like you did when you were 14. Sex is relationship "candy." What's real is fidelity, honesty, friendship, etc... Even for those who want just this or that or just that way...as soon as they get it, they will get bored with it and on to another. Sorry, ya just gotta grow up:)

Posted 11 weeks ago by paulie

I agree with Paulie to an extent. You have to be mature enough to deal with areas that need improvement. But the other person has to be flexible and willing to compromise to a certain extent. Bad kissing can be improved upon (but the older you get it the less someone will be willing to deal with a beginner) Sex is more than just relationship "candy." It's important and you have to be accomodating. Doing something begrudingly on birthdays and holidays is not being accomodating. If something is important to you and your partner doesn't value that, then that's a deal breaker whether it's foreplay, a good spanking or even the water color class you attend. If a couple broke up because one of them wanted kids and the other didn't, would you tell them to grow up? No, they just ended up not being a good long-term match. The same goes for sexual desires. But performance can always be worked on. Practice makes perfect.

Posted 11 weeks ago by SavageAnimal

Perfection does not exist in this world, so some compromise is essential, or you'll spend the rest of your life either alone or with 100's of cats. What is really important to a person for a relationship? What are the "must have's" and what are the "nice to have's"? Not everyone looks like Brad Pitt or is fortunate to have job security in these economic times. If you've got someone that loves you and has a good heart, who doesn't cheat, brings a paycheck, and is without any felony convictions, that's a good start, eh? A dog can be taught new tricks, so be patient and slowly teach the person how to do those things that make you feel good. But - If he's not interested in trying to learn, and the 'action' is only on certain holidays and a few key days on the calendar, and the relationship isn't going anywhere, then unfortunately it may be time to explore other possibilities.

Posted 10 weeks ago by SCI-KO