Taking three men at a time

Yes three. Apparently it's the magic number of how many to have inside your circle at once. "Two doesn't keep you busy enough and four just feels like crowd control."

That's from writer Lisa Daily. She calls this the dating rotation.

One of my girlfriends told me last night that she's trying this method. She's casually seeing three boys right now. Here's the deal:

Boy 1: Split a bar tab that was less than $20 total. Her half was $9. He doesn't have $9?? She also told him she had to break a date this week because her aunt is very ill. At first he didn't even bother to ask "Is she OK? Are you OK?" he did later in an e-mail, so she's keeping him in the mix. When she asked to reschedule at first he said he needed to check with his friends to see if he was available because they had big plans to play "Rockstar" and "Guitar Hero." After consulting with them, he said he was free all weekend. Is he trying to be an asshole? I don't like him.

Boy 2: I kind of like. She emailed me and said: "I had a date on saturday that was kinda good. I'm not head over heels attracted to the guy, but ... he was really easy to talk to and he was very thoughtful and smart. But he had gone to a drum circle in the woods earlier that day and he talks REALLY loud. Who the hell goes to a drum circle? This town is full of dirty hippies." She obviously doesn't live in KC. Nobody could accuse us of being a town of dirty hippies. They kissed on a later date but she said there were no sparks. He likes her from what she tells me about him though.

She said she was going to let him cook her dinner and see if she feels more attracted to him when he's more relaxed and in his own element. I warned her, "You know if you are in his house, you're going to take your clothes off. Set your boundaries early." We'll see.

Boy 3: I really like. The other two boys she met online, which she says is easier because if a guy approaches you online, you know they are interested. But this boy she met in nature. That's not the right word, but you know what I mean. She's been dating online a lot, so she was a little lost. "What is the world coming to when you meet someone in real life and you can't tell if they like you or not? ... You have to rely on cues. It's so strange."

They are in similar fields and on their first lunch date she couldn't decide if he just wanted to be friends with her to get a job. She doesn't make hiring decisions so I told her I doubted it. He then said he'd like to show her around and invited her on a hike, then e-mailed her afterward to say they hadn't even seen a fraction of how great the trails were. Flirting, right? But he didn't try to hug her at the end. He had also invited her on another outing -- tubing with friends. Then the friends backed out, so they're going tubing alone. She's going to wear a cute bikini and see what happens.

I have my fingers crossed. I like Boy 3 best. Not because she met him in "real life" vs. online, because I'm all for online dating. I like him best because I think he's acting really sweet, taking things slow and maybe he's just a little shy. Or am I wrong? No. He's got to be interested. Right?

I think he's showing signs and he's just shy and unsure if she likes him back. Of course, the more I write this, the more I am thinking mabe he's just acting nice and really he's a player. I am so suspicious.

She's got time to find out.

"The great thing about dating rotation is that you don't get too emotionally involved. You don't fixate on any one man, which gives you time to get to know them better, without worrying whether any of them is The One." Daily says in her book "Stop Getting Dumped! All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love with You and Find The One in three Months or Less."

I'm skeptical. I tried casually dating more than one boy at once, but I ended up thinking, "This is dumb. I just really like the one guy." So I cut the other two off.

Wait. Now that I think about it, the one I picked was the one I thought was sweet and just slow to make a move, but it turned out he wasn't making a move because he realized he didn't have romantic feelings for me.

Maybe my friend shouldn't listen to me this time. I'll tell her to ask a guy.