Ink

It’s quite possible that Lyndsey Ogle, 27, has more dating horror stories than Bret Michaels.

For starters, she once got dumped in the shower.

“I was in the shower shampooing my hair,” Ogle explained, “and he opens the curtain, climbs in and dumps me.”

“This is why I have a blog.”

Ogle’s blog, The Man Fast (themanfast.blogspot.com) documents her yearlong abstention from the opposite sex. Sort of. Ogle dates, but she’s given up the active pursuit of a soul mate, at least for a while.

Ogle, who’s lived in Chicago, L.A. and Russia, said that when she moved to Kansas City two years ago, “it was culture shock.”

“Everyone’s married and has babies!”

She said she’s more interested in making art (she’s an actress), going out and spending time with friends. The whole soul-mate thing can wait.

“I believe everybody’s going to find their person when they’re good and ready,” Ogle said.

Between developing a one-woman show based on her blog and writing her first book, 90 Days in Moscow: Looking for Life With More Theater and Less Drama, Ogle chatted with Ink about Valentine’s Day, online dating and the damage social networking’s done to everyone’s love lives.

Ink: How do you feel about Valentine’s Day?

Ogle: I love Valentine’s Day. Screw the whole pouting alone thing. You can’t let those things make you sad. They’re fun. Grab your girlfriends and celebrate the fact you love your life. I can say this now, but it wasn’t always this way.

Has blogging changed the way you date?

It makes all of life’s experiences more enjoyable. Even horrific blind dates or getting dumped … there’s value in it. You’re learning lessons.

What’s your take on online dating?

I have done it horribly unsuccessfully.

I went on a date with a guy who was fantastically gorgeous. He rented us a sailboat on our first date. I got violently sick, and he wrecked the boat. We actually had to get rescued by the Coast Guard. I never went out with him again.

How about texting?

I don’t want to say it’s ruined relationships, but I think what happens is we go from friending to fucking in two seconds. I had an entire relationship with someone, and I don’t think we ever spoke on the phone. I’m horrible — I hate talking on the phone. I’m a compulsive text messager. But without a phone, you’re forced to just live in the moment.

Are you a Facebook poker?

I’ve never poked, I will never poke. I don’t even think I know how to poke. And I only friend people I know.

What do you think about all these reality-TV dating shows?

I have to admit that I watched a full season of “Rock of Love.” I thought it was a train wreck I couldn’t pull my eyes away from. It’s not actual reality. I find it hard to believe that anybody would go on one at this juncture and think it was for real.

The characters that I gravitate toward are always the ones who are doing their own thing. People who are happy in themselves. When I hear people talk about, ‘Oh, I can’t find a guy, nobody likes me,’ all of the self-deprecating stuff that women and men say about themselves, I just think, ‘If you don’t love who you are, no one else is going to.’

So many people say Kansas City is a horrible place for dating. What’s our problem?

When I first got here, I thought it was difficult. I found it difficult not just to date but to meet friends. People get married so much younger here. When I lived in L.A., I was always the youngest of all my friends. None of them were married or had kids.
It’s so much easier to live here — it’s a good place to live, a good place to do art. But as far as meeting people, you’re limited to the bar scene. … I don’t buy that as an excuse, but I do understand why people say how challenging it is.

Do you have any advice for meeting people?

I think relationships, whether they’re romantic or anything else, are work. You don’t make friends sitting at home in your apartment. Every time you move, you’ve got to put that investment time in.

Any date-night ideas?

Any place you can talk and just hang out. I recently discovered Pabst Blue Ribbon. I love PBR! I didn’t know it existed. So someplace where you can sit, talk, maybe enjoy a PBR and watch some football.