Ever see any of the following: St. Elmo's Fire; The Graduate; or Avenue Q?  The characters in these all are going through the same thing - a quarterlife crisis!  We've all heard the term "midlife crisis" and probably even tease our parents about it from time to time.  However, did you know there is an actual developmental time in life (between 21 and 29) where some people go through a quarterlife crisis?

The basic idea behind a quarterlife crisis is similar to that of a midlife crisis.  You undergo a lot of self doubt and tying to uncover your true identity.  You've come to a point where you should ideally have things figured out as far as your career, family, finances, goals, and who you are.  But something is off and six months after you've finished college and received your degree in math, you realized that you absolutely hate math and have been sharing a 4 bedroom house with 3 other friends who spend most of their time being hung over and eating the ramen noodles that YOU bought.  And even though it's not at all the case, you feel like you are the only one in the world who is this confused about where you are in life and where you going.  This, my friend, is your quarterlife crisis, and unfortunately you can't use that as an excuse to go buy a Corvette like your father can, especially considering your Kia budget.

I am going through my own little quarterlife crisis right now.  Since 4th grade, I have always wanted to be an attorney.  As my life has progressed, my job background is legal and the way I think, talk, act and write adheres to those things I have picked up on from being around attorneys all my life.  So I am finishing up my bachelor's degree this semester, have already taken my Law School Admission's Test and am seemingly ready to set off on my 3-year law school journey.  Here's the thing:  I'm not sure I want to go to law school anymore.

What is wrong with me?  People always say when deciding what career field you should go in, you should think about what you would want to wake up everyday and be happy going to do, and honestly, the legal field is that for me.  This isn't to say that any other field would not.  I have vast interests and abilities, but this is where my background and focus has been all my life.  I guess up until now, my goal of law school and successful ladder climbing didn't involve the fact that I'd be a divorced mother of a child who has special needs.

Law school is 3 years.  The first year you cannot work.  Not to mention how insanely stressful and time consuming law school is.  Oh, and did I mention how expensive law school is?  Then to actually end up in a position where I would be happy would require me putting in many hours at the office and dealing with the constant drama that always seems to go along with most law firms.  Where would this leave Ethan?  I don't have anyone else to help me with him.  It's just us and it would be unfair to spend the next 10 years focusing on my career when I can be just as happy doing something that would involve less time, less money and less stress.

So now I am wondering what I should do?  The areas that seem of most interest to me include: occupational therapy, behavioral therapy, teaching, nursing, accounting and general business (then going on for my Masters).  I just am not sure what is going to work best as far as time, investment, interest and job security.  I am in a weird state that is not typical "Tricia" -- a state of where am I going and what am I doing?  I've always had it all planned out and now I am seeking redirection.

It's funny how one aspect of your life can so greatly affect another aspect.  I've always wanted to have a child and a family at some point.  I always assumed it would be after I was set in my career, but it did not work out that way.  When I was younger, having a family was really never on my priority list.  I wanted to get my education and be in a place where I was proud and successful.  The funny thing is, I'm not in my career at all right now and I'm proud and successful because of the very thing that I thought would hold me back.  Priorities change and there is nothing wrong with that.  The only constant in life is change.

You go so long just being numb and then you hear a song, see a movie, make a friend, have a conversation and then WHAM!  Suddenly it hits you.  Emotions start to stir and you feel your blood beneath your skin in motion.  Not that you ever thought your blood was at a standstill logically, but you realize you are alive.  You have the capabilities of being human again, be it for only a minute.  And somehow that one minute of life is worth the 1439 minutes of nothingness each day.