Life: Under Construction

I guess it would be easy to say that my life is under construction at the moment, both literally a figuratively. Literally in the sense that my master bathroom is having to be completely rennovated due to a water leak. This might sound like a bad thing, but trust me, with the way that bathroom used to look...it's a huge improvement. Figuratively in a way that I'm joining the ranks of those trying to get in better shape. Mind you, I'm not doing this so I look "super hot" for the approaching swimsuit season. There's really no need for that when I'm happily married (yes, I'm 22 and I'm married...it happens) and my husband says he's fine with the way I look. Now whether or not I believe this is debatable. No, no, no. I'm doing this so I will actually feel better about myself.

Back in high school I was perfectly content with my appearances. I was 5'6" and around 120 or so pounds. In other words I looked healthy, if not on the tad bit small side. When I went three hours away from home for college I ended up feeling insecure and battling anorexia. Once I finally beat the disease, though I'll never be completely rid of the nagging in the back of my mind, it would appear as if I just stopped caring. I would stay fit through dance rehearsals but once those ended or grew to be fewer in number I would just sort of swell up. You can tell a huge difference between those time periods just by examining the pictures posted of me on facebook. It's almost scary how different I look in such a short amount of time in some of those photos.

Recently, I decided enough was enough. I finally realized that I had enough of the yo-yo-ing weight. It was/is time for me to get healthy. I joined a gym at Ricky's the husband's workplace and even went so far as to meet with a trainer to set up a good game plan for me. I also started tracking my eating habits and my exercise through Glamour Magazine's Body By Glamour program. One thing I came to realize is that my eating habits can be really scary. Now I like drinking as much as the next 20-something, but I also have the bad habit of gorging myself on horrible foods as a result. So my first decision, to cut down on drinking some. This could be a formidable challenge due to the fact that Ricky has a room dedicated solely to wine in our house. But I must resist. I can and will say "no, thanks!" Sure, I'll be crying on the inside, but I'll still be able to face myself and see myself in the mirror.

This will be challenging since this whole sort of experience is new to me, but I'm determined to stick to it. Hopefully within a few months I'll be living a much healthier and happier life. And maybe, just maybe, my self-confidence will be at a normal level once more.