I've been dancing since I was three years old. Tap, jazz and ballet were my life force until I graduated high school. From there, I added modern into the mix. Modern, the truly American dance style (thank you Isadora, Loie and Martha), or as my family enjoys calling it "the dead fish dance."

Since graduating from college I've struggled some with being away from it. I went eight months without it. Talk about sheer torture. In January I decided enough was enough and enrolled in the "alumni" class at my old studio. Alumni meaning old people who actually have previous dance experience and would rather not waste their time learning third grade basics all over again. It was fun, but it still wasn't as much of a challenge I would have liked. As my dancer friends Courtney and Lacey have told me, "Of course you're bored. Your style is that where you need to have your ass kicked in order to enjoy yourself." And this is true...to a point. Growing up I never really felt right trying to do the flowier movement in lyrical dances. If I was going to do "pretty" it had to be ballet all the way otherwise my body wasn't having it. My favorite things have always been leaps. Big, center of the stage, high in the air leaps. There's just something about pushing your body to seemingly break the laws of gravity, if only for a moment or two. Leaps are something that class I was taking was severely lacking.

Moving on. I would love to get involved with a dance company in the area, but I worry that there isn't one that is really my style. Kacico, while amazing and fantabulous, is far too "pretty" for me. Reach would satisfy my love for improv, but again I'm not sure if it would be a good fit. Aha! and City in Motion (both companies where I studied under people who frequented or founded) are amazing groups, but rarely are looking for girls. (Sigh) For the moment it appears that I'll just have to keep dreaming of my ideal athletic, high energy company, and keep practicing and stretching on my own so I won't lose the ability.

So this weekend ended up being a movie weekend for us. Saturday (after freeing our doggy from her locked bedroom...long story) we went to see The Happening. From the previews this movie looked creepy and piqued my interest...even after reading the ho-hum reviews. In the end I was glad we decided to see it anyway. The film was creepy...and even though it wasn't The Sixth Sense it wasn't horrible. In fact, Ricky and I ended up discussing how creepy it would be if something like this really did happen as we left the theatre.

Yesterday we went to see Get Smart. The movie was good for some laughs...even if it did feel a tad bit long after a while.

All in all, this wasn't a bad weekend. Plus, it's nice being able to see two movies during the day for the price of one at night.

So Ricky and I have been debating what to do this weekend. We've considered everything from Weston Bend State Park, to Smithville Lake, to the zoo and beyond. We like to be outdoors doing active sort of things so if anyone has any suggestions they would like to share I would love to hear them.

I had a job shadower come in and sit with me for an hour yesterday. The kid was nice...in a Napolean Dynamite sort of way. But seriously...what's with the super high pitch giggle? It almost reminded me of The Duke's laugh from "Moulin Rouge." High, nervous, almost as if it were saying "I don't know why I'm laughing but I think it's the appropriate response." Note to all people who might be looking for a job in the professional world. It's always better to slightly over dress instead of looking like a slob. Kid, next time your parents suggest shirt, tie and slacks run with it instead of wearing wrinkled khakis, a too-small polo and ugly tennis shoes. Also, it's your own fault you left your cell phone's ringer on. Don't try to pass it off as your provider doing weird things to your phone. And if it does ring...make sure you're polite to the person on the other end. None of these short, snippy responses. They're your relatives...be nice!

Two more days...whew.

"So, is this your first pregnancy?"

The question alone was enough to make me stammer. I'm...I'm not pregnant. The nurses only gave me little smiles as if to say they knew better and continued their rushing.

It started after leaving the switchboard. The twinge. It almost felt as though something had snapped deep inside of me.

Early last week I printed off a guide that showed what portion sizes should really look like for certain foods. At the time I found myself thinking how teensy everything looked. But this week, after sharing the info with Ricky and sticking to these sizes I've realized that they really are filling. After plopping down at my desk this morning I looked at the print off again and now the portions look down right huge. It's funny how perspective can change as we work on changing different things about our lives.

I remember being a freshman in college and thinking I would be exactly like the women of SATC, single and with disposable income. In short, I was planning on being selfish. After meeting Ricky things started to change... slowly though. During the first few months I was still in this selfish frame of mind and almost ended up pushing him away. Fortunately, though, he's just about as stubborn as I am and ended up sticking around. We've had a lot of ups and downs as a couple, probably more than most...like I said, we're both stubborn so fights happen, but I wouldn't be the person I am today without knowing him. And while I might not be the happiest or most self-confident person in the world at least I don't have to hide these aspects of my personality around him, before I was really, really good at hiding my doubts and putting on a happy face to not worry those around me. He loves me come mood swings and self-doubt.

A co-worker made a very good point today (getting off track on the self-confidence thing). She said that self-confidence/awareness comes through experience. And as a recent college grad I might have some experience but not nearly enough to be self actualized. She said it'll come with time, and that she had no doubt that I'd come into it before too long. I'd say it's safe to say I sort of see her as a mentor now. It was awesome just being able to stand around and talk to her about whatever. That was definitely the thing that turned my blah mood around.

I feel rather unispired today. My brain feels as if it's oozing outing of my ears. Is it Friday yet?

And it is a lilac-colored bridesmaid dress I have to be able to wear in two weeks. What's crazy about this whole situation is that when I bought the dress back in March (or February, I can't remember which) the thing fit just fine. But now...I can't get the freaking thing to zip up the last five or so inches at the top. I can't help but wonder, as I freak out crying and ripping at the evil that is this dress, did they sew the right sized tag into the wrong size dress? Let me explain, in the time since the purchase my size hasn't fluxuated at all, all of my other clothes still fit me the same so how is it my boobs have suddenly grown too big for this outfit? Yes, I'm well aware that I should have tried it on before leaving the store, but live and learn. In the meantime I'll be stepping up my program in a big way for the next two weeks, and if they go well maybe for the rest of the summer (I'm in a play where smaller would probably be better). Cross your fingers for me. 

Tattoos in the workplace seem to be a hot topic lately, it all seems to be a result of the Star's article on in earlier this week. I'll be the first to admit that I have a tattoo, a dove on my ankle, and that shortly after getting I showed it to my VP to get her opinion on whether skirts were no longer appropriate for me in the office. Since I've been at the office slightly under a year I wasn't exactly sure about the standard of tattoo taboo in my workplace.

First of all, she seemed appreciative to the fact that I asked her opinion. And then she went on to say that it was tasteful and until someone else complained about it she didn't see an issue. I'm not going to lie, my VP is one of the coolest people you'll ever meet.

Long story short, I have no issue with people having tattoos, I'd have to be really hypocritical if I did, as long as they can be placed out of sight when necessary. After all, tattoo artists don't call face, neck and hand tattoos "Deal Breakers" for nothing.

I apparently bored myself to death with my last entry so I've decided to wrap things up really quick (hence the title). The zoo was fun, but not as much so once the strollers were out in full force. Old Market was not a mix of Westport and the Plaza, it reminded me more of St. Charles' Main Street (ie - brick roads, kitschy/eclectic shops, not a whole lot of window shopping, no main stream stores to be found). They did have a really cool wine store though, no big shock that we went to one. And as we found out later that night, Omaha has absolutely nothing to do (for 20-somethings) beyond those two items. Long story short, we made an overnighter, in a really gross Travel Lodge, when we should have just gone and come back home. Lesson learned. At least we got some yummy drinks at Outback...which we could have easily done here as well.

This weekend Ricky and I decided to be among the decreased number of Memorial Day travelers. We didn't do anything extravagant, trying to save up will do that to a couple, but we wanted a mini-getaway. After looking into the different things to do within a three hour road trip, keep in mind we were in school for four years around the Springfield/Branson area so we wanted to avoid it...not to mention we've practically done everything around there already, we settled on driving up to Omaha.

My family went there for a day trip when I was 12 years old, or so, and I remembered the zoo, the only thing we did there...is anyone else starting to see where this is going, being fairly impressive. Ricky just wanted to get out of town so it didn't take much convincing there. One of his co-workers, an Omaha native, provided him with a list of possible things to do. One area she said we must see was the Old Market. She described it as a combination of Westport and the Plaza. Sounded good to me, I love window shopping.

We packed up around 6 a.m. Saturday morning. Ricky, being the insane morning person that he is, did the driving while I stared out the window at the pouring rain. After navigating our way to the nearest Dunkin Donuts, in St. Joe, we continued on. I'll say this much, northern Missouri and southern Iowa are not the most interesting areas to drive through. Good thing I wasn't even remotely interested in attending a university in that area...I would have gone stir-crazy in no time flat. After three hours of mind-numbing driving we finally reached Omaha. Upon crossing the city border we were promptly cut off by an Nebraska driver who had a lead foot, apparently a lead hand too since they were unable to use a turn signal. Let me make one thing clear, even though we were in a strange city we weren't driving around like a couple of confused tourists. Our directions were very precise and the locations we were going weren't that hard to find.