Things that are not my fault: work edition

Disclaimer: This is directed at stupid people with insurance.

i work for an insurance company in a claims department as a coverage adjuster- right there should tell you that i get blamed for a lot of things that could not possibly be my fault. here i will list some:

me: have you been getting all of your bills?

them: i recieved every bill you ever sent me except the one telling me my policy would cancel so there was not enough warning."

me thinking: oh, so you recieve everything except the one thing that matters- well let me look in my database of things we sent you and see- oh yes there it is the letter saying your policy was going to cancel and yet it was sent to the same address that we sent everything else too.

me: were you current on your bills when the loss happened?

them: well you did not send me a bill how did i know when to pay.

me: well you usually pay every month, wouldn't you think that you would continue to pay every month?

them: well if you don't send me a bill how do i know.

me thinking: once again i can prove i sent it to you so stop lying and just tell me that you stopped paying three months ago.

them: can't you just give me a break because i have been a customer for 56 years and my husband was and agent with you and we have been loyal to you?

me: if you were loyal you would not have stopped paying your premium.

them: what do you mean i have to pay my deductible that jerk hit me he caused this accident and why am i paying for it?

me: well you chose to have this ded that said you were going to pay for this much or your accident if we fix your vehicle. you can do through their insurance company.

them: well they are taking too long but i am not going to pay my deductible

me: well then you can't get your car fixed yet.

them: i asked for a 500 deductible not 1000, who would ask for that?

me: well sir, i have the document in front me that you signed showing that you were getting a 1000 ded.

them: i did not sign anything.

me: yes you did i can fax you a copy it has your signature and the date that you signed it requesting 1000 deductible.

them: well i didn't read it then when i signed it and i will not pay 1000.

me thinking: well you are an idiot for signing something you did not read.

me: are you aware that your policy does not cover this loss for (state policy exclusion here)

them: no whewre does it say that.

me: page six third paragraph (read policy to them) did you read your policy at all?

them: no

me thinking: figures. well, still not covering it just because you're stupid does not make the exclusion go away.

them: you are just denying this to say money

me: no i am just denying this because it is stated in your policy that i can.

them: i have never used my towing coverage why did you take it away?

me: i did not underwriting did and from the looks of it you have used it 7 times this year.

them (in non-english language): how was i supposed to know what i was signing your policies are in english

me: well, your agent also speaks (non-english) language and explained everything to you and also she can get you a (non-english) copy.

them: well i think this should be covered because i did not now because my agent did not explain it to me and i am (non-english speaker) and cannot read this.

me thinking: well i think i am going to deny it because you are in AMERICA you entered into an AMERICAN contract with an AMERICAN company- we already catered to you by paying interperters and hiring agents that can explain things to you- but once again we cannot expect to put your signature on something and not be responsible for the consequences.

so, here is my message to you- if anyone reads this: coverage adjusters listen to lies all day every day. if you find your self in this situation don't try to bullshit anyone because we have access to everything we sent you and everytime you have filed a claim. we can see the payments you make and we have everything you have signed. and ignorance is NOT a defence. we send you the policy so you read it and know what we do and do not cover. not so you can line your birdcage with it.

ps: it can not possibly be my fault when you do not pay your bill. i do not send the bills, i do not accept the payments, i do not even work in the building that does that. i don't care that you lost your job or that you have been with us since 1927. all i care about is, are you current on your payments and did you follow your policy rules.

pps we do not pay for lies.

ppps my husband is a hottie.

pppps seriously, have you seen him?