by E. (L). Sexton
AMERICANS "LIKE" TO VOTE - who knew?
A whopping 97.5 Million votes delivered our homeboy David Cook to a never-ending journey of 15 minutes of fame and VH-1 cameos. Despite Simon's cleverly plotted "Battle of the David's," it just seemed obvious our Kansas City-cutie pie would win.
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Still, I totally dorked-out -- my passion for Kansas City and Cook's sex appeal, sucked me into a reality show that I usually snickered at. I wanted "it" bad - a KC victory, that is.
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Like a pent-up tweener, I voted "like" four times! Idol-mania may not be telling of how people many actually voted... but apparently we like to do this crazy thing of casting our opinions. It seems that sex appeal has little to do with it, too: thanks to the majority of 126 Million voters, G.W. won his additional four year "mandate" in 2004.
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(I know, to be fair, neither candidates could float your swift boat, right)?
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So, I guess there is a primary on Tuesday, August 5 and to be real, I wonder if I even know enough about the candidates to vote. We all wonder who will get our vote, but before that, we ask why even do it in the first place?
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"It's time to inspire. Time to lead. Time to seek peace. Time to be courageous. Time to be outraged. Time to believe. Time to fight for what is right. Time to think. Time to make history. Time to rock the vote."
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Sounds about right. So now, back to who? Here is a list of Missouri and Kansas candidates. Ok, you've got the who, the what, and the why. Ah, now you are asking, "Where?" Voila: Polling location look up for Missouri. Sorry KS: I need some help from you with this link. Your Secretary of State's site is set to turtle speed - killing my attention span and my computer, but at least it gives you plenty of time to check out the pretty images of a cow pasture.
And just because it's that wonderful weekend of KC creativity, First Friday and all, here is some voting inspiration from the bizarre, beautiful world of Miranda July:
"Here’s why you should vote: you are going to really love it, the whole strange procedure. You get to walk right into a building that you would never normally be allowed in, often an elementary school. You can pause in the hallway to look at all the weird school-art and feel the eerie vibe of hundreds of kids living their endless kid lives right nearby. Then you follow the arrows to the voting room and look at the faces of the volunteers - who are these people? There is a hush of secrecy, the voting booth is clunky, the whole thing seems fake somehow. You consider filling in all the bubbles, like you did on the SATs. But you don’t. You vote. You walk back outside feeling like you just gave blood or something, lightheaded from citizenry. You are wearing a sticker that says “I Voted” and you wish you could continue to get stickers like this throughout the day: I Ate Dinner, I Went To Sleep, I Got Out Of Bed, I Went To Work. But alas, it is just this one thing that we all do together, savor it."
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On behalf of our hilarious president, I would like to wish the French and Kansas City Francophiles, a Happy Bastille Day from the world’s biggest polluter!
Just short of crushing a beer can into his forehead, George Bush, being the silly jokester that he is, turned to world leaders before boarding his plane last week at the G8 summit and gingerly quipped, “Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.”
Zoot-ta-lore! I know, close your jaws. You might be embarrassed, but (this is one of those rare times I get to say) George Bush was right.
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Every morning my inbox explodes with misspelled spam for herbal Viagra and male enhancement products. My nooner consists of a few facebook pokes. And by the end of the day, I am the benevolent recipient of a whole lotta E-movement love courtesy of groups like MoveOn.com and Amnesty International.
I automatically feel compassionate just receiving a “Save Darfur” email. Whether I am actually able to read it is another story; I’m too busy saving myself from a messaging monsoon. After all, in between weeding through this jungle of cyber junk, I need to focus on what I’m really supposed to be doing with company time – checking my MySpace.
It is all so overwhelming… irresponsible, even. But no matter what management method I have tried, this monster just won’t stop. My inbox breeds faster than Britney and Jamie Lynn combined. At this very moment, I have 696 unread messages out of the archived 1,647.
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The Metro Made Easy
by Elizabeth (Lizzi) Sexton
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by E. (L). Sexton