Dear Kiss & Tell: Is it OK to go out with someone just to have something to do? Even if they kinda bore you? Sent signs that I’m not interested (don’t call/text, initiate activities, told him I just wanna be friends, etc). He’s a nice guy. I just don’t feel like I have anything else to do. Is this OK to continue?

Pamela says: I am a firm believer that not every dating relationship has to be serious. You don’t have to marry every guy, you can just go to the movies. Dates when you’re not as invested are actually good for some things — getting back into the game after a breakup, for example.

But you have to make sure you’re honest with the guy. Try stressing the “I’m not looking for anything serious right now” again.

You said you “sent signs” that you’re not interested. Sometimes people don’t read signs. And you might be sending mixed signals. What are you doing with this guy? Are you flirting with him? Are you letting him take you out on dates? Are you getting physical?

If you are doing any of those things, he might think there’s a chance that you really like him. And if you don’t, you’re leading him on and using him. That’s not fair to him.

You said he’s a nice guy. Nice guys don’t deserve bad treatment. Eventually you’ll probably get so bored you can’t take it anymore and dump him. Then his feelings will really be hurt. Then there’s the whole cycle where he’s callous to every other girl he meets because of “that heart breaker” (you).

Do you really want that on your head?

So before you decide to start dating him, you need to ask yourself a few questions:

Would you want to feel like a guy was dating you because he was bored? And if this guy bores you, is it really worth it?

Do you want to miss out on a more interesting guy while fooling with some guy you don’t care about?

And really, how important is getting a free meal on a Saturday night if you have to be bored the whole time?

Think about it.

Damon says: I have no issue with the idea of dating for leisure. If you’ve told this guy that there isn’t much chance of you all progressing beyond the friendship level, he knows that he’s not wasting his time if he decides to continue hanging with you.

I would suggest that you pay for your own half of your outings with him. This is so your message is clear to him. All of us have issues at times with hearing and seeing what we want.

If you let him continue to pay for you, there’s a good chance that he’ll get the wrong idea about what you want. Paying your own way will make sure you never have this problem. Capiche?

Now to the real issue here: I find it slightly ironic that you want to solve your boredom issue by going out with someone who bores you. That’s counterproductive.

If I’m bored, the last thing I want to do is be around someone who might as well be a barren wall in my bedroom. I’m going to find people to be around who make me laugh, people I enjoy. If this guy bores you so much, the best thing for you may be to find some people who intrigue you.

Just a thought.