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This is Artificial Tangent, a source of all things nerd and subversive. Mostly we'll talk movies, but music, television, The Highlander comic books and the collected works of Danielle Steel are all on the agenda.

November 2008
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Archives

2008 (240)
- November (15)
  - 21st: Two Days 'Till Chinese Democracy - 9:25 am
  - 20th: Today's Top 10: Vampire Movies That Don't Suck - 12:00 pm
  - 19th: Who's giving guns to these monkeys? - 11:30 am
  - 17th: Can anyone save the NFL from itself? - 12:55 pm
  - 14th: The Weekend Wake-Up Call: FREE TYLER THIGPEN - 12:30 pm
  - 13th: Top Ten: Where do they get those wonderful death rays? - 10:00 am
  - 12th: Why is Will Smith ruining everything? - 10:30 am
  - 11th: Tuesday's Top 10: Bond Girls, The Best Bond Girls - 1:30 pm
  - 10th: When celebrations go very, very wrong - 6:45 pm
  - 7th: Why College Football Needs Playoffs - 6:00 pm
  - 6th: Thursday's Top 10: Movies Worth Spending Money On - 10:15 am
  - 5th: Hey, can I have my own holographic display? - 12:45 pm
  - 4th: Our long national nightmare is almost over - 12:00 pm
  - 3rd: Snatching defeat from jaws of victory - 12:15 pm
  - 1st: Should I twitter from the pitch? - 2:00 am
- October (21)
  - 30th: The Five Scariest. Movies. Ever. - 10:00 am
  - 29th: Imagine Superman meets The Godfather ... here's the pitch - 12:25 pm
  - 28th: Tuesday's Top 10: Actresses that don't get enough respect - 11:30 am
  - 27th: The Morning After: Will you like the Chiefs in five years? - 10:30 am
  - 24th: Kansas City's chance at a champion - 10:45 am
  - 23rd: Scary movies: "They're Here" ... The Top 10 Begins - 10:00 am
  - 22nd: What to watch: New Watchmen, Porno trailers - 5:00 pm
  - 21st: Tuesday's Top Ten: Dolemite or Shaft? - 4:45 pm
  - 20th: The Morning After: At least confetti tastes like happy - 10:15 am
  - 17th: All Bets Are Off for the Chiefs, NFL - 1:00 pm
  - 16th: Scary movies: 'You're All Dead' - 12:00 pm
  - 14th: The Unbearable Greatness of Marky Mark - 12:00 pm
  - 13th: The Morning After: Parity ruins everything - 4:45 pm
  - 10th: Hunting for witches in the bye week - 10:45 am
  - 9th: Scary movies: Today's secret word is creepy - 10:15 am
  - 8th: Deeper inside the Cauldron - 9:30 am
  - 7th: Diminishing returns, Sarah Palin and Kimbo Slice - 9:00 am
  - 6th: The Morning After: It could be worse ... right? - 8:00 am
  - 3rd: The Al Davis breakup service - 11:00 am
  - 2nd: The 25 Scariest Movies Ever - 12:50 pm
  - 1st: You and me. Characters in a Chuck Palahniuk book. Who's with me? - 6:50 pm
- September (23)
  - 30th: Stop Blade Runner 2 before it starts - 5:00 pm
  - 29th: The Morning After: The winning while awful paradox - 10:15 am
  - 26th: Trent Green still alive ... Who knew? - 5:15 pm
  - 25th: Did you eat paint chips as a kid? - 12:55 pm
  - 24th: Shia LeBeouf and sexual addiction ... not linked, yet. - 8:45 am
  - 23rd: Michael Moore's new movie ... for free - 12:45 pm
  - 22nd: The Morning After: My fantasy is ruined - 9:30 am
  - 21st: The only KC team with playoff hopes... - 12:05 pm
  - 19th: The return of the great white slow pokes - 11:15 pm
  - 18th: Dane Cook: Pompous blowhard or mediocre hack? - 4:15 pm
  - 17th: The battle for the worst - 3:00 pm
  - 16th: Headbangin' to the oldies - 3:55 pm
  - 15th: The Morning After: Herm's Gotta Go - 10:30 am
  - 15th: The death of a certain genius - 8:10 am
  - 12th: Larry Johnson is overdue for a huge game, right? - 11:00 am
  - 11th: The irritating art of ripping something off - 4:45 pm
  - 10th: Gut reaction: Fringe is spooky, somewhat goofy - 1:40 pm
  - 9th: Are you ready to face the 'Hole'? - 12:00 pm
  - 8th: The bittersweet comfort of a moral victory - 3:40 pm
  - 5th: Tom Brady will eat your children - 7:30 pm
  - 4th: I'm guessing Nic Cage didn't get the Tropic Thunder memo... - 5:45 pm
  - 3rd: Wait, when did Republicans get cool? - 3:40 pm
  - 2nd: ... and now they're both dead: Voice master Don LaFontaine, singer Jerry Reed - 7:25 pm
- August (23)
  - 29th: Bringing sexy to the White House - 12:00 pm
  - 28th: Top Gun = Greatest Script Ever? And I tune Barack's iPod - 3:00 pm
  - 27th: So you think you can riff? - 1:55 pm
  - 26th: Babylon A.D. director joins world in hating on his own film - 12:35 pm
  - 25th: The next Catwoman might be a cougar - 1:00 pm
  - 24th: Updated: Cuban shows true Olympic spirit, kicks ref in the face - 8:20 am
  - 22nd: Your weekend guide: Planes, Bosstones and crappy baseball - 7:10 am
  - 21st: Our hot Olympians are better than their hot Olympians - 10:50 am
  - 20th: And now they're dead: Julius Carry - 9:55 pm
  - 19th: A Bill Hicks biopic and 23% more profanity than any other Ink blog - 2:55 pm
  - 18th: They're gonna need a bigger pole - 1:10 pm
  - 16th: Weekend Blog-attack: Eight is enough! - 2:00 am
  - 15th: Weekend to do list ... gets bigger - 2:25 pm
  - 14th: Wow, the Olympics don't completely suck - 3:40 pm
  - 13th: Is it ok that I laughed at black face? - 9:15 am
  - 12th: We can't stop here, this is bat country - 9:50 pm
  - 11th: The best of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes - 1:00 am
  - 8th: The most ridiculous thing I can find - 8:20 am
  - 7th: An NC-17 Mother Teresa biopic ... with video - 1:00 pm
  - 6th: Britney Spears to play a lesbian stripper - 12:25 am
  - 5th: Are they really planning a 'Goonies' sequel? - 12:30 pm
  - 4th: So you think you can dance ... but can you power tumble? - 4:35 pm
  - 1st: Answer some questions, win free stuff - 7:20 pm
- July (18)
  - 30th: This sucks more than bumming a ride off Shia Labeouf - 3:30 pm
  - 29th: Wrapping up the comic-con in five minutes or less - 1:00 pm
  - 21st: UPDATES: 'Porno' and sequels make Monday more fun - 3:40 pm
  - 18th: UPDATED! The superhero movie died at 2:45 a.m. - 3:10 pm
  - 17th: The night is always darkest before the dawn - 6:15 pm
  - 16th: The good, the bad and the out-right awful - 3:30 pm
  - 15th: Putting the pussy(cat) on a pedestal - 9:35 am
  - 14th: To spoil or not to spoil ... a blogger's dilemma - 11:30 am
  - 13th: nuh na nuh na nuh na nuh na BATMAN! - 9:00 am
  - 12th: Nerds and non-nerds united - 8:00 am
  - 11th: And now for something completely different... - 9:30 am
  - 10th: Where Does He Get Those Wonderful Toys? - 9:00 am
  - 9th: HOLY EXPLODING SHARKS! - 8:00 am
  - 8th: Wait'll They Get a Load of Me - 11:00 am
  - 7th: You're Just a Freak ... Like Me. - 7:00 am
  - 3rd: I want to punch mother nature in the face - 9:30 am
  - 2nd: In which a nerd changes your perception of awesome - 10:00 am
  - 1st: Things I actually like: Jessica Biel as a stripper, mustaches and Batman - 10:30 am
- June (22)
  - 30th: It's like Abba meets Marilyn Manson ... kinda - 4:30 pm
  - 30th: When something stupid nearly ruins something great - 11:30 am
  - 27th: What to watch this weekend: MILFs, talking robots and euro-trash - 12:30 pm
  - 25th: Fear of a Black Planet - 11:35 am
  - 24th: The Indomitable Sucktitude of Hollywood - 10:15 am
  - 23rd: Comedy icon George Carlin dead at 71. - 3:20 pm
  - 23rd: Reinventing the middle finger - 3:10 pm
  - 18th: There are 973 ways to kill a man ... here are most of them - 8:30 am
  - 14th: Video of the day: The R Kelly tape - 12:00 am
  - 13th: The best $7 you'll spend this weekend - 3:00 pm
  - 13th: Don't let M. Night waste your time ... rent this instead - 11:30 am
  - 12th: Pain don't hurt ... and one of my worst ideas ever - 10:00 am
  - 11th: Has Marvel already lost their way? - 11:25 am
  - 10th: Your kid isn't special and neither is Kung Fu Panda - 10:15 am
  - 9th: To rent or not to rent: High Tension - 3:30 pm
  - 7th: Hating on soccer haters - 8:30 am
  - 6th: The MPAA pulls porno off the internet - 12:30 pm
  - 5th: The must watch guy movie no one is telling you about ... yet - 7:00 am
  - 4th: Is it wrong that I root for the monster? - 9:45 am
  - 3rd: Fear and loathing and blaxploitation return to save us all - 3:30 pm
  - 3rd: I thought I was done dating psycho chicks - 6:45 am
  - 2nd: Is MTV still relevant? No, but that's ok - 6:30 am
- May (25)
  - 30th: So... where does Lost go from here? - 3:30 am
  - 29th: Yippie Ka Yay, Mr. Falcon - 3:45 pm
  - 29th: There are other things to do besides have 'Sex' - 9:00 am
  - 28th: Indiana Jones was a chick flick - 3:30 pm
  - 28th: KC couldn't support hockey ... they can barely support the Royals - 6:15 am
  - 27th: 600 dudes + 1 porn starlet + A snuff film = A remarkably funny read - 4:30 pm
  - 27th: Lunch-time briefing: Will Lost actually answer questions? - 12:30 pm
  - 27th: Everybody loves football in the groin! - 6:00 am
  - 23rd: In a world gone viral, Weezer raises the bar - 3:25 pm
  - 22nd: This is why we can't have anything nice - 11:15 am
  - 21st: The David Cook lovefest makes you all look ridiculous - 9:45 am
  - 20th: Have the internets ruined movies? - 3:30 pm
  - 20th: People who saw The Cure last night suck - 8:40 am
  - 19th: Please don't tell Swayze - 1:30 am
  - 18th: There will be nudity ... plenty of nudity - 2:00 am
  - 16th: Lost: Incremental but satisfying - 4:00 pm
  - 16th: What do you do this weekend? - 11:30 am
  - 15th: Lost uses subtext from Wizard of Oz to explain political upheaval - 10:30 am
  - 14th: More unnecessary sequels and lots of lunch links - 11:35 am
  - 13th: Totally Topical Tuesday Thread: Twisters - 10:00 am
  - 11th: Superheroes and sequels ... Iron Man was great ... Do we need Donnie Darko 2? - 1:55 pm
  - 8th: Winehouse arrested ... Kermit sings sad songs ... Rainn Wilson rocks ... other stuff too - 3:45 am
  - 7th: nine inch nails "the slip" - 3:30 am
  - 5th: Iron Man Oscar worthy? ... New, free NIN album? ... A MacGyver movie? ... A PBR coffin? - 10:00 am
  - 1st: Preparing for the weekend the right way - 3:45 am
- April (65)
  - 30th: Weatherman is really, really excited about Jared Allen - 9:15 pm
  - 30th: Some del.icio.us links - 8:05 pm
  - 29th: When a movie makes you uneasy - 4:30 am
  - 28th: Links for lunch ... again? - 12:45 pm
  - 28th: Is Harold and Kumar the most important movie ever? - 7:50 am
  - 25th: Wait, the smoke monster attacked the Chicken Lady? - 10:00 am
  - 24th: If anyone knows Jesus' story, it's director of Showgirls - 4:00 pm
  - 24th: Lost questions that will never be answered - 3:30 am
  - 23rd: A cure to the stuck-inside blues - 1:15 pm
  - 23rd: The Genius of John Carpenter - 9:15 am
  - 22nd: Your (late) lunch time links - 1:00 pm
  - 22nd: Quotes that co-workers (including me) need to stop using - 3:35 am
  - 21st: Lunch time links - 12:20 pm
  - 18th: The Week in review - 10:55 pm
  - 18th: My scariest hero: Rob Zombie - 8:15 pm
  - 18th: Not even I'm dumb enough to watch The Stand ... again - 4:00 pm
  - 18th: It's Jack Ryan, go for it. - 3:00 pm
  - 18th: Some dodging aftershocks mid-day links - 2:00 pm
  - 18th: Flaccid penis jokes are always funny - 12:00 pm
  - 18th: Let's make babies - 11:30 am
  - 18th: Killing my work ethic and destroying my marriage - 10:00 am
  - 18th: What to watch this weekend - 8:00 am
  - 18th: How Garbage Pail Kids explain sports - 1:30 am
  - 18th: Bob Saget is (expletive deleted) awesome - 1:15 am
  - 17th: Can the Internet save Arrested Development - 8:35 pm
  - 17th: You might find it's quicker to punch yourself - 6:00 pm
  - 17th: Criminally confusing: What to do with your TIVO tonight? - 4:00 pm
  - 17th: I can clear a room in 30 seconds - 2:00 pm
  - 17th: How nerdy are you? (not a rhetorical question) - 1:00 pm
  - 17th: Are you mental? - 12:00 pm
  - 17th: Shhhh, don't let anyone know about this - 9:00 am
  - 17th: It worked for Guitar Hero... - 3:00 am
  - 17th: The American Dream and the comfort of your couch - 12:00 am
  - 16th: Groove is in my heart - 3:40 pm
  - 16th: Ladies, you can skip this one - 11:30 am
  - 16th: Morning pick you (and me) up - 9:00 am
  - 16th: This season on Lost, Desmond is going to die - 6:00 am
  - 15th: A blog about porn stars. - 9:40 pm
  - 15th: Should you watch The Negotiator? - 4:00 pm
  - 15th: JFK meets Animal House? - 2:15 pm
  - 15th: The most dangerous show on television - 11:00 am
  - 15th: Adam Carolla, American Hero. - 8:45 am
  - 15th: Totally Topical Thread Tuesday: Stuff you shouldn't like - 2:00 am
  - 14th: Let's talk about MILFs ... and NPH doesn't misspeak - 10:00 pm
  - 14th: Where have all the heroes gone? - 7:20 pm
  - 14th: Should you watch Silent Hill? - 6:20 pm
  - 14th: A ride on the mood elevator - 5:05 pm
  - 14th: It's official: Creativity is dead - 12:30 pm
  - 14th: 5 minute review: The Shining - 10:30 am
  - 14th: Ultimate hotness: BBC America - 7:30 am
  - 14th: This sucks worse than an Asia reunion tour... - 1:00 am
  - 13th: Yippie-kay-yay (expletive deleted) - 8:25 pm
  - 13th: Hackers roast at Screenland - 2:00 pm
  - 12th: Don't believe the hype - 3:40 pm
  - 12th: Paying $8 bucks for something I do in my living room - 11:30 am
  - 12th: Jenna Jameson and zombies get me excited... - 8:00 am
  - 12th: Chinese Democracy ... can Axel hack it without Slash - 1:45 am
  - 11th: While you're out with Cherryh - 4:00 pm
  - 11th: A great week for crazy people - 7:00 am
  - 10th: These dads are better than your dads - 11:00 am
  - 9th: Why comedians and athletes can't act - 2:20 pm
  - 7th: Get your damned hands off me! - 12:10 am
  - 4th: A splashy flash ... a crappy rehash ... jay leno is a gaybash(er) - 4:40 pm
  - 2nd: Hey, lets take off our shirts and see where this goes. - 12:10 pm
  - 1st: Totally Topical Tuesday Thread Time - 3:30 am
- March (28)
  - 27th: False utopias ... insane singers ... wanted (I said wanted) for a d-w-i - 8:45 am
  - 26th: Bored? Lazy? Here are some videos - 12:35 pm
  - 25th: Topical Thread Tuesday: 90s music - 11:30 am
  - 24th: What exactly is the cube? - 6:10 pm
  - 23rd: The greatest fight scene ever | best fights vol. 7 - 10:55 am
  - 22nd: You can laugh if you wanna | best fights vol. 6 - 9:45 am
  - 21st: Shoot first, ask questions later | 37 fight scenes vol. 5 - 9:30 am
  - 20th: Um, watch out for that car | Thursday's Links - 4:00 pm
  - 20th: WTF?!? | 37 under-appreciated fight scenes vol. 4 - 9:00 am
  - 19th: It's me against the world | 37 under-appreciated fight scenes vol. 3 - 9:00 am
  - 18th: I'm doing this for you man ... I'm doing this for you - 4:30 pm
  - 18th: The 37 most under-appreciated fight scenes of all time | Fist fights - 12:10 pm
  - 18th: Open Thread Tuesday - 1:50 am
  - 17th: Tivo alert, Jason Statham edition - 4:30 pm
  - 17th: What a waste of St. Patrick's Day - 3:55 pm
  - 17th: "I can't belive his face just fell off!" - 11:40 am
  - 17th: The 37 most under-appreciated fight scenes of all time | Sword fights - 8:30 am
  - 16th: The history of a blog you've never heard of - 7:50 pm
  - 14th: Oh, Jesus, this place makes my head hurt - 10:55 am
  - 13th: This will only take a minute - 11:25 am
  - 13th: Yes I'm the pirate, pilot, of this ship... - 8:30 am
  - 13th: I'm not sure I'm ok with this... - 8:00 am
  - 11th: Open Thread Tuesday! - 7:00 am
  - 10th: “If you don’t mind, I’m gonna pass out.” - 11:55 am
  - 7th: "Ladies, we are gonna have some fun" - 12:10 pm
  - 6th: If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son... - 8:00 pm
  - 6th: "Don't cry, hold it back!" - 8:00 pm
  - 6th: I hope you have some room on your tivo - 10:20 am

The must watch guy movie no one is telling you about ... yet

Angelina Jolie is, without a doubt, the world's hottest MILF. But here's a point that not enough people make: Jolie and Brad Pitt are in the process of making genetically perfect children. Imagine 20 years from now... wow. (Thanks Eric.)

My (Morning) Rant ::

There's a movie coming out this summer that every guy wants to see... only you have to be a super-nerd to know about it.

Hollywood is busy shoving M. Night and Mike Myers down our throats. I mean, seriously, I've had to resort to abusing Google like it owes me money trying to find red-band trailers and teasers about this movie. I've come up with a gowno load of Russian trailers. Which are cool. And violent. And in Russian.

But it’s got everything a guy wants:

High-speed car chases that can't possibly be grounded in reality? Check.

Lots and lots of blood? Check.

Stunning visual effects? Check.

A guy that can shoot the wings off flies? Check.

Insane stunts featuring cars flipping through the air? Check.

A mega-hot and tattooed Angelina Jolie staring as a world-class assassin that wields a gun and very little clothing? Yeah, check.

Well, that movie is "Wanted." And it has one of the coolest trailers in the world.

That’s nothing your lady wants to see. Unless your chick has a jones for rapper Common. And, frankly, I can't blame them if they do. (Though if she has a jones for Angelina, well, lock that up dude.)

Now, it's also quite possible that the movie might suck. That it might be all trailer and no thrills. Like everything M. Night Shymalan does. Or it could be just exactly what the trailer says it is, like "Shoot 'em Up."

Either way... I'm there.

Ok, so, not much of a rant, right?

Well, try this on: "Sex in the City" was able to exceed expectations and bring in the weekend box office haul toppling "Indiana Jones and the Quest for Lord Xenu."

And the"Sex" did so well at the box office last weekend? Every chick in America went to see it with her girlfriends.

But it made only half of what “Iron Man” did when you compare the opening weekend numbers. That’s because every dude in America stayed home. (Which is kind of sexist, but whatever.)

And if you are one of those dudes that went, you must be stopped. You’re the same guy that shells out a grand or two or three for a blood diamond and makes us all look bad.

The reason “Iron Man” did so well across all audiences – besides being a solid movie – was because the studio made a concerted effort to appeal to all audiences. Robert Downey Jr. for the ladies, action and effects for the dudes, obscure comic-book references for the nerds, no overt swearing for the little kids and an easy enough plot to follow for the old fogies in their 30s.

In other words, “Iron Man” being a hit was like no snorks Sherlock. It was family-friendly.

But I don’t want family-friendly action movies.

Or chick-friendly action movies.

Or chick-friendly comedies.

I've slowly come to realize though, that what I want isn't what mainstream America wants. Which means "Wanted" is going to struggle mightily at the box office. Like "Equilibrium" and "Shoot 'em Up" did.

But that's ok. Those were awesome movies. And if I'm part of a select few who feel that way, well, so be it.

If guys band together and go see it in droves like our chicks did for "Sex in the City," then maybe it'll have a shot. Maybe we can expand the ranks.

Because who doesn't want a gun happy bloodbath movie?

I know I do.

Or is it just that I want Angelina Jolie?

(3) Comments

Posted on: Jun 5 2008 - 07:00:00 AM

Tags: ARTIFICIAL TANGENT CHICKS MOVIES RANTS

3 Comments - leave comment

I think everyone has a jones for Angelina. And I don't think I went to see Sex and the City with my gal pals like the rest of America. I think I was instead hookahing with my man friends.

Posted 24 weeks ago by Shelly Storm

I love chick flicks but I also love action movies, too. We saw the preview for "Wanted" and I was like,"Dude, we gotta see that movie." Plus, I have a girl crush on Angelina.

Posted 24 weeks ago by Cherryh A. Butler

Yeah, the director is the guy who did NightWatch and DayWatch, two remarkably amazing visual films. This one promises to be just as good, although I'd really only recommend NightWatch in terms of story. DayWatch got convoluted quick.

Posted 24 weeks ago by justinpgardner