Why College Football Needs Playoffs

If Barack Obama can't get it done, I can. PLUS ... Wizards season on the line in Columbus, predicting the NFL playoffs and something that makes me very, very, very angry.

The Weekend Wake Up Call | More sports talk than you can shake your Peyton Manning voodoo doll at.

It's embarrassing that one of our most popular sports sees its season end with a game decided by a few computers, a couple of clueless polls and sheer luck.

That's bunk.

Playoffs? Any sport worth watching has some form of playoffs. (English football, which doesn't have end-of-the-season playoffs, has three separate football tournaments during the season, which count in my book.)

Maybe you heard, our President-elect wants a playoff. Mel Kiper wants a playoff. I think Beano Cook wants a playoff.

Everyone that is, except college presidents and athletic directors. Which shows you that they are only slightly more detached from reality than Lauren Conrad.

Their official reason: It would hurt academics. I'm not sure about how college works these days, but just a few years ago, college students were off on winter break during most of the bowl games anyway.

Here's my plan: An 8-game playoff. The top 6 teams are seeded using a modified BCS system (modified in the sense the Harris poll is devalued and an RPI-like strength-of-schedule poll takes more prominence). The 7th spot is awarded to the highest ranked non-BCS team (this year, Utah, Boise State and Ball State are undefeated right now, angling for this spot) and the 8th spot is awarded via fan poll.

Here's the one catch (this should help solidify the last two spots): You can't have more than 2 losses and make the playoffs.

You play the first round the Saturday before Christmas at the Sugar Bowl, Fiesta Bowl, Cotton Bowl and Peach Bowl. You play the second round the Saturday/Sunday after New Year's Day at the Rose Bowl and Orange Bowl. You play the championship game the week after at a site rotated among Sugar/Fiesta/Rose/Orange.

Now 8 teams have a shot (including a non-BCS school), a potential fan-favorite team on the outside (say, USC?) gets a shot, we get a real champion, the Cotton and Peach Bowl get to have two games, the other 64 teams get to play in their bowl games still and we get to keep the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl and the Meineke Car Care Bowl.

Who does this hurt?

Speaking of playoffs...

Every team has 8 games under their belts, officially halfway through. We know a few things (the Lions, Chiefs, Raiders, Seahawks and Bengals are awful) and are still uncertain of a few others (is Denver good? will the Titans lose? what's wrong with Indianapolis?).

More importantly, I now know enough to predict the playoffs.

NFC

New York Giants (East), Chicago (North), Atlanta (South), Arizona (West), Carolina (Wild Card) and Philadelphia (Wild Card).

Wild Card Round: Philly whips Atlanta, Chicago takes out Carolina.

Divisional Round: New York beats Philly, Arizona nicks Chicago.

NFC Championship: New York gets back to the Super Bowl.

AFC

New England (East), Pittsburgh (North), Tennessee (South), San Diego (West), Baltimore (Wild Card), Indianapolis (Wild Card).

Wild Card Round: New England bests Indianapolis in a rematch, San Diego somehow beats Baltimore.

Divisional Round: Pittsburgh topples San Diego, Tennessee over New England

AFC Championship: Pittsburgh squeaks by Tennessee.

Super Bowl: New York Giants repeat against Pittsburgh in the worst offensive game in this history of playoff football.

(Seriously, if you've can give me a team that you think does one thing better than the Steelers and the Giants play defense, I'd love to hear it. Before you pencil Tennessee into that game, keep in mind they've played one decent team so far — Indy — and still get to prove themselves against Pittsburgh later this year. Beat the Steelers, I'll believe.)

3 Games To Plan Your Life Around

College Division

Texas Tech vs. Oklahoma State 7 p.m. Saturday on ABC. Remember last year when Okie State coach Mike Gundy freaked out AFTER HIS TEAM BEAT THE RED RAIDERS? It's one of my favorite sports clips ever.

Prediction: We don't have to talk about Texas Tech anymore after Saturday night. Thank. God.

Alabama vs. LSU 2:30 p.m. Saturday on CBS. Nick Saban returns to the first (or is it second?) team he spurned for a better opportunity. Prediction: LSU can't beat 'Bama, Saban leaves happy. Then considers taking the Bengals job this off-season.

USC vs. California 7 p.m. Saturday ABC. This is why God invented espn360.com ... oh wait, Time Warner in KC doesn't allow 360. D'oh.

Pro Division

Tennessee @ Chicago 12 p.m. Sunday CBS. This is probably the first real test for the Titans, as the Bears are seemingly for real (but, really, who the hell knows?). The Bears will most likely start Sexy Rexy Grossman. Prediction: Titans nip the Bears, Rex chucks a record 19 interceptions.

Indianapolis @ Pittsburgh 3:15 p.m. Sunday CBS. I'm not ready to toss my Large Benjamin Roethlisberger jersey into the pile in my closet with Jerome Bettis and Joey Porter, but I will say this: In Leftwich I Trust. Prediction: The Steelers out-tough a still-out-of-sync Colts team despite injuries to Large Benjamin and Willie Parker.

New York Giants @ Philly 7:15 p.m. Sunday NBC. Yet another game where the Giants have to take a good team's best shot. Philly needs this a little bit more (a loss makes them 5-4, which shouldn't eliminate them from the playoffs, but it's not a good place to be). Prediction: Philly with a figgie in overtime.

Wizards season on the line

Saturday night, 6:30 p.m. on HDNet/Metrosports, the Wizards take on the Crew with the series even at 1-1.

"We said from the beginning this series is just a 180-minute game. Right now after 90 minutes, it's even," said Kansas City head coach Curt Onalfo in an interview with MLSnet.com. So, will they find a way not to give up another goal late in the game like they did in the first leg last Saturday at CommunityAmerica Ballpark?

The first leg had the Crew dominating possession, but needing a man-advantage in stoppage time to level the game. They'll need inspired play by Guillermo Barros Schelotto to get a goal this week. The Wizards might need a miracle. Could Claudio Lopez and Davy Arnaud link up to provide that miracle again?

For the Wiz: Midfielder Herculez Gomez is out this weekend (thanks to his red card suspension) and forward Josh Wolff is hurt and probably won't go more than 30 minutes.

Come on Wizards!

Please, tell me this is a joke

Steven Spielberg and Will Smith want to remake Oldboy. No no no no no no no no no no no. Emphatically: HELL TO THE NO. Please, make this a joke. Make this stop. Do those guys know how that movie ends? [Spoiler alert: They're comfortable with an incest twist? Really?]

I'll watch the "Saved by Zero" Toyota commercial for 12 hours straight. I'll watch Paris Hilton's new BFF. I'll rip off my fingernails one at a time. I'll take out a tooth with the claw part of a hammer. Anything. Will any of that make this stop?

Box Office Bonanza

Which movie makes more than $100 million this weekend? Soul Men or Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa? I'm thinking Soul Men.