The Morning After: My fantasy is ruined

And not the one where I marry Kristi Yamaguchi and she changes her name to Kristi Yamaguchi-Gooch. Although, given our age differences as well as our current married status, it's probably a ruined fantasy by now as well.

11 Things I Thought I Thunk While Wishing My TV Had a Reset Button

1. You ever have that game while playing Madden when it feels as if you can't get anything going and the computer has it out for you? You can't hit that reset button fast enough after dealing with your fifth attempt at a drive halted by the stream of computer-controlled defenders surging past your offensive line and abusing your quarterback like he's an obese kid in a high school locker room.

You know that feeling? That's exactly what Steeler fans feel like today.

2. Worst. Fantasy. Game. Ever. Many people felt that last Monday night's Cowboys/Eagles game was the greatest fantasy football game ever. (It was definitely the most watched game in cable TV history.) But for fantasy purposes, it had a high number of sure starters, a handful of possible starters and two or three sleepers.

Tony Romo, Donovan McNabb, Brian Westbrook, Terrell Owens, Jason Witten, Marion Barber, the Cowboys defense and kickers Nick Folk and David Akers. All are sure starters. Patrick Crayton, Felix Jones, DeSean Jackson and the Eagles defense are most likely factors in your league too.

And they all produced. Hard not to in a 41-37 game. They also probably determined the outcome of your week.

If that's the case, the Steelers/Eagles game has to be the worst fantasy football game ever. (Unless your counting the kickers!)

Not only did the two teams combine to score only one touchdown, but you had three quality starters (McNabb, Westbrook and Large Benjamin Roethlisberger) go down with and injury. You had three more fantasy options disappear like Britney Spear's British accent (Jackson, Santonio Holmes, Willie Parker) and there is no way the highest scoring player (Correll Buckhalter) was on anyone's roster.

The Westbrook injury (which all of us who own him knew was coming) was like a shot in the gut. Did it really have to happen in Week Freakin' Three? Reason #479 why I hate fantasy football: I had to cringe when he went out despite the fact that his injury gave my Steelers a chance to win.

Cruel.

3. Cleveland Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards ruins more drives than a broken golf tee.

4. Player That I Hate (in a purely platonic, fairy-tale football related fashion): Ronnie Brown. C'mon! 5 touchdowns? Miami ran him out as the quarterback on FOUR of those touchdowns. Why do I hate him? Besides the fact that Greg Moore has him on his undefeated team in our work league, I sat him on my bench in my complex Syracuse-rules league. 5 TDs on my bench. I'm currently losing by 11 points. I thought New England, for sure, would handle the oft-injured former Auburn back. D'oh.

5. I think I know what Free Money Edwards is doing with this Chiefs team. Trusting Tyler Thigpen to run the offense, filling the defense with inept tacklers, pissing off your only offensive weapons and keeping Damon Huard on the bench is all a great plan. Provided that your plan is to lower the expectations of the fans so far that when the Chiefs beat the Bengals three days after Christmas for their first win of the season there's a parade down Grand Blvd.

6. Why don't we have a better overtime plan yet in the NFL? A coin toss is really the best way to decide the outcome of a major sports game? Serial? Why not adopt the college plan (alternating possession, no clock, and go until one team scores and the other can't match) and move on? Or, even better, a punt-pass-kick competition to determine the winner. Or a 40-yard-dash between the two fastest players on either team. Anything but this.

7. Denver Broncos = Most exciting thing to happen to football since "Pacman" Jones made it rain during the NBA All-Star weekend.

8. Eye opening stat of the week: Brian Griese 38-67 for 407 yards, 2 TDs and 3 INTs. The Jeff Garcia trade watch begins... now. Kansas City, you are on the clock.

9. Why the heck does CBS have Shannon Sharpe and Bill Cowher doing highlights? Or for that matter, why does any halftime show allow ex-Jocks to handle the highlights during halftime? Isn't that what Greg Gumble and James Brown are there for? Aren't they trained sports journalists? Instead we get Cowher mangling Bills linebacker Paul Posluszny's name and Sharpe trying out another idiotic attempt at a catchphrase. It's bad enough that nearly every football show is more crowded than a pimp's coat closet.

Leave the highlights to trained professionals. You wouldn't have a clown fix a leak in the john.

10. I know now what Kansas City really needs — a game against St. Louis. It seems to fix what ails ya. Which leads to this question: Is there a worse state for professional football than Missouri? Will both teams combine to win more than 4 games? Not a chance.

11. Welcome to the NFL regular season Seattle and Jacksonville. Perennial playoff contenders should never go more than three weeks before finally getting a victory.

Finding the "perfect" sports bar

The AmeriSports Brew Pub inside the Ameristar Casino in Kansas City

Paraphrasing the great Hunter S. Thompson: "They look like caricatures of used car dealers from Dallas, and sweet Jesus, there were a hell of a lot of them at 4:30 on a Sunday afternoon, still humping the American dream, that vision of the big winner somehow emerging from the mid-day chaos of a stale KC casino."

The Food: Surprisingly, it's not too bad. My sliders and waffle fries were delicious. My wife had a different story. Her veggie pizza was like store bought dough with a few olives on it. 6 out of 10.

The Atmosphere: According to its website, the bar cost $6 million to construct and is the only lager house in KC. All I know is it was really dull. Maybe it was the post-Chiefs hangover. There were only a smattering of Steeler fans, one lonely Lion fan and a few dozen Bronco supporters. It feels like a casino-version of a sports bar: way too big, flashy when it shouldn't be and designed with the specific goal of separating you from your wallet. 6 out of 10.

The Coverage: Every game was at the touch of your finger. Literally. If you can snag a booth, you get a touch-screen display where you can flip between anything. All the NFL games, golf, Nascar, the NFL network. All they were missing was pro bowling. 10 out of 10.

The Verdict: 22 out of 30. If I could take the TV set-up to Minsky's in the City Market, I'd never, ever leave.