Larry Johnson is overdue for a huge game, right?

Seven things you need to know about this weekend of fantastic football.

Boldly predicting, prognosticating and pontificating on all things football.

You're going to have a hard time finding four better nights of football than the next four. Tonight, it's No. 13 Kansas vs. No. 19 South Florida on ESPN2 at 7 p.m. Saturday, you've got No. 5 Ohio State at No. 1 USC at 6 p.m. on ABC. Sunday night, it's Pittsburgh at Cleveland on NBC. And on Monday night, the Cowboys take on the Eagles on ESPN.

It's a good time to have a lot of rain headed your way in the Midwest. (Though, for the record, NOT a good time to have a lot of rain headed your way in the Gulf of Mexico.)

1. Bold prediction No. 1: Let it be no secret that, as Jason Whitlock is to Jeff George, I am to Larry Johnson. (Though, unlike Jason I don't physically know LJ, I just went to school with him and watched him torch Michigan State for 200 yards in the first quarter. And have ever since been an advocate for No. 27.)

I think LJ goes sick this weekend. He has to be angry the Chiefs didn't win, and he runs better angry. The Chiefs are going to deploy an asinine two-quarterback system, which means more running. And the defense is going to get the ball a few times thanks to Jamarcus Russell having hands worse than my high-school shop teacher. Which means, you guessed it, more running.

Adam Teicher at the mothership points out LJ's work against Oakland the last four meetings ... feels like he's due.

2. Word of caution as it pertains to your fairy-tale football team. Just like not enough attention is being paid to the fact a candidate for vice president named her kids TRACK, TRIG and BRISTOL, not enough attention is being paid to the serious problem in Jacksonville.

Like they are down three offensive linemen after losing both starting guards to season-ending injuries last week.

Like they have two running backs that a lot of fantasy owners were relying on that just lost half the reason they were so effective.

The most-effective ground duo last year, Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew, were held to 33 yards by a decent — but not great — Tennessee team.

It doesn't get any easier. They have the Bills — who looked very decent last week.

3. Start 'em and smile this week.

:: Willie Parker now has more touchdowns (3) than he did all of last year (2).

:: Eagles WR DeSean Jackson is an effective reciever and an electric punt returner. Go get him. Or, if you're me, you drafted him.

:: If you didn't snag Carolina's TE Dante Rosario, you should do that now. Who else is Jake Delhomme gonna throw to this week?

:: Jets wideouts should carve up the Patriots secondary — I seem to remember some guy named Darling torching them for 75 yards last week. And he didn't have the grizzled Favre chucking it all over the field.

4. Worth a thought. If you drafted Falcon's RB Michael Turner, you had a nice week didn't you? Probably won by a nice margin. So, if I were you, I'd start shopping him around. Now. You won't get any takers this late in the week, but it couldn't hurt to see if anyone's interested at least. His stock will never be this high again. Ever.

5. Games that I'd bet on if wagering on sports were legal in my state of residence (current record for year, 1-5 ouch!). Last week was tough. I didn't know a lot of things. That Jacksonville were the new Bengals. That Aaron Rodgers wasn't half bad. That Cleveland sucks. These are things that I now know. Though I should've suspected the Browns were bad.

I have high hopes that I'll recover my losses and save a little face. But, I don't like a single home favorite. A few have lines that are too high (Tampa and Seattle +7) and a few have artificially inflated lines (NY Jets +1 1/2 over the Patriots).

I'm doomed.

Here goes anyway.

:: Miami (+6 1/2) overArizona. That line is too high. Miami's not dreadful.

:: New York Giants (-8 1/2) over St. Louis on the road.

:: Green Bay (-3) over Detroit.

:: Buffalo (+5 1/2) over a depleted Jacksonville squad.

:: Philly (+7) hangs with Dallas, but doesn't beat them.

:: Tampa Bay (-7) covers at home versus Atlanta. Ok, I talked myself into going chalk on this one. Though a TD seems a little high.

6. Bold prediction No. 2: More than 4 home favorites lose this week. I'm just throwing that out there.

7. Game I wouldn't bet on even if I were using Cindy McCain's millions. Cincinnati  +1 vs. Tennessee. Betting on a 1 point spread is a slow way to kill yourself. It's essentially a coin toss. And, I don't really like betting that way. If you win, so what? If you lose, you lost.

Check back in Monday for the second (and improved!) edition of The Morning After.

This post was typed with one hand, as the other was in the air making metal horns to the new Metallica album!