The next Catwoman might be a cougar

Best rumor ever: Christopher Nolan wants Cher for 'Batman 3.'

Despite the relative, um, lack of a script, the INTERNETz have run wild with speculation about who the next Bat-villain might be and who might play them.

And the rumors have been awesome.

Johnny Depp as The Ridder. (Although Brian Austin Green feels he'd be awesome at that role. And it's also possible Anthony Michael Hall may already be in line for that.) I'd be more inclined to go with someone less obvious and less popular, like Shia LeBeouf.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Penguin. Though, admit it, you'd find it funny if it were Artie Lang.

Angelina Jolie as Catwoman? (Julie Newmarr says yes ... though Angelina seems to think porn-starlet Tera Patrick would be better.) I actually think either of them would be intriguing and awesome.

But then there's this Maggie Gyllenhaal as Catwoman thing floating around.

I don't know who to believe. Especially because I saw this today: My new favorite rumor.

TDK director Christopher Nolan wants to turn the cat into a cougar, by having Cher play the aging pussycat in her twilight years.

I think it's a weird call — but one that seems to fit the ethos of Nolan. It also seems to fit into the new Bat-verse he's created.

Though, I'd have gone with Hellen Mirren if you're going that route. Better actress.

I love the speculation that already exists over a movie that hasn't been written that would be a sequel to a film that hasn't even left theaters.

The INTERNETz rule.

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What's so funny about people f*cking?

In my day, movies weren't so blunt about young people getting it on.

So, maybe you've heard of this one. Maybe you haven't.

There's a movie opening this weekend (don't get excited, it's not coming to KC anytime soon). And it's called "Young People F*cking."

The kids call it "YPF."

I'll leave it to your imagination to figure out exactly what the plot of the movie is going to be. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Anyway, the movie is a blunt, comedic depiction of young people, um, f*cking. Five inter-locking story lines detail different sexual encounters from foreplay to afterglow. But, like Denise Richards, it's complicated.

Comedy ensues.

I don't mean to go all Grandpa Gooch on ya'll, but I'm not sure I'm down with this. In my day, comedic depictions about sex were simpler. Funnier. More baked-goods based.

Like "American Pie." It's the same principal as this movie, only, they used pie filling as a sexual lubricant. (Though, I have to tell you that I don't want to picture anyone from this movie save Shannon Elizabeth getting on anymore. Not even Tara Reid. I have a few standards.)

Added tangent: Have you seen that movie recently? The original "American Pie" not the sequels. Besides adding the world MILF to our lexicon and showing Elizabeth topless, that movie is about the biggest waste of two hours ever. It's the "Revenge of the Nerds" of it's generation — only without the acting talent.

Plus, the concepts of those two movies seem so dated and weird now. 

Do you really believe that the most important thing about college life is still getting into a frat?

And do you really believe, in this day and age, that the biggest hurdle before high-school graduation is getting some? Aren't they doing it before middle school graduation?

Back to "YPF." It has won a few awards and is being talked up — a lot. Though, I think it's mostly people reacting to the title. Which is fine. Half the job of a movie is to get people talking about it. And, as Pam Spencer can surely tell you, a good, eye-grabbing and titillating title can get a lot of people talking.

Job well done.

Here's the trailer. (And, since I'm saving you an hour or so — and possibly your job — by not making you search for this movie yourself on Google ... you're welcome.)