Ink

I was a broken man. Eyes red, single tear line caked to my cheek. Distraught. My bracket was busted. Kaput. I was stunned. Concussion stunned. Why didn't I pick Villanova? USC over Michigan State, is that what I really wrote down with pen? Memphis in the Final Four?

While all that was sad and depressing, mostly I spent the night crying because there wasn't an episode of "Eastbound & Down" on.

I miss you Kenny Powers.

Though, I guess when I stop to think about it, it is pretty sad that the NCAA hoops season just has three games left. Great, I feel like crying again. Am I Greg Paulus now?*

*Sorry, that's the last shot at Duke for awhile. Promise.

I need something to take my mind off my woes. If only they had a product that would stop me from crying and give me an outlet for my rage. If only I could slap and chop my cares away.

"You're going to love my nuts!"

About last night...

1. I'm not sure if you know this, but East Lansing is relatively close to Detroit.

The Final Four is in the Motor City. Michigan State is from East Lansing. The economy sucks. No state was hit harder than Michigan. The Final Four is in Michigan. East Lansing is in Michigan. Which means the Spartans are going home to Detroit to play in the economically-ravaged state where they are from.*

Prepare to hear this story-line played on in the MSM for the next few days.

(Why don't these kind of stories happen when the Final Four or Super Bowl is in a place like San Antonio?)

* Jerome Bettis is from Detroit too.

2. Tyler Hansbrough will devour your soul and attempt dunks 9 feet from the rim.

Thanks to the Dagger at Yahoo! for getting this video up. It even made my wife chuckle. And she hates basketball.

Despite being owned and manhandled by Oklahoma's Blake Griffin, the chosen one still lives to fight another day. He owes this mostly to Danny Green.

3. There is another...

I don't have a dog in the fight when it comes to women's college hoops. Not that I never cared or anything. Like most Nittany Lions we rode the Kelly Mazzante express train when she played in Happy Valley. But she's gone.

I may have found a new women's hoops team to follow, though: Oklahoma.

Not only do they have Bubba Paris' monsters, er, kids, Courtney and Ashley*, they also have Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger's sister, Carlee.

I wonder if she has the same propensity for committing a turnover early in the game and then redeeming herself by hitting a clutch three at the end.

And yes, I sort of compared Ben and Carlee to Luke and Leia.

* Courtney is an absolute beast, and I mean that in the nicest way I possibly can. I'm not sure I've seen a women's basketball player with her strength and finesse. Remarkable.

4. He's like John Madden, but smarter and more smug

Jay Bilas this morning on ESPN, and I quote: This is "the exact right Final Four based on how those teams played." That's fancy-lawyer-Duke speak right there. What he actually said was the four teams that won all of their games are in the Final Four. Which is like saying you win more games if you score more points than the other team.

He gets paid to make these statements. He gets paid a lot.

5. This year's Greg Oden All-Star

Or, athlete who appears to be at least 10 years older than his actual age. That award this year goes to Pittsburgh forward Sam Young.

Picking the Final Four

Since I was so good at prognosticating all tournament long, why not give it a go once again.

I like Michigan State over Connecticut.

My reason? I like the way Michigan State spreads the floor. They get scoring from all over the place. On defense they can take whatever they want to away from you. Case in point Louisville's Terrance Williams who made about 2 shots all game. Connecticut, however, can win this game if they get the same kind of game from Kemba Walker they did against Missouri.

Either way, either Missouri or Kansas can say they lost to an eventual national championship contender. I'm sure they'll find a way to brag about that.

I like North Carolina over Villanova. This is only because if North Carolina wins the entire tournament, I'll win my family's bracket challenge. And this is imminently more important to me than providing you with any kind of actual analysis. (Though, I think Villanova can give North Carolina some issues with their three-guard attack. None of their guards though are Ty Lawson.)