When it comes to cheap beer, there are three varieties: the good, the bad and the skunky.

Even so, there’s something about summer — and Independence Day in particular — that makes us want to grab the cheapest 30-pack, find a swimming hole and let loose.

Recently, a handful of Ink staffers submitted their palates for a blind taste test of cheap beers. And by cheap, we mean cheap. The Brick, 1727 McGee St., has a happy hour that offers infamous bargain beers for $1 a pop. We’re talking Old Style, Hamm’s, Schlitz, Olympia and Pabst Blue Ribbon. We threw in a draft beer, Miller High Life Light, for good measure.

Some notorious yard beers — such as Bud Light, Keystone and Coors Light — were left out. Maybe next time.

Some of us were hard-core partisans to our favorite cheap beer going in: I, for example, am a Miller High Life Light loyalist. Our guest panelist, Jeremiah James, and Ink’s deputy editor, Lindsay Hanson Metcalf, swore by PBR.

Let’s just say when bartender Shay Estes revealed which beer was which, we all pledged allegiance to a new brew.

1. Old Style

Price: $7.99 for a 12-pack of bottles

History: In 1852, German brewer Gottlieb Heileman immigrated to America from Germany. He settled in Wisconsin and, by 1872, ran his own brewery. Heileman began brewing Old Style Lager in 1902, and the beer has been in business — with few changes to its recipe — ever since. Old Style is quite popular in the Windy City, where it’s the official sponsor of the Chicago Cubs.

Our take: Tester Jeremiah James called Old Style “light and bubbly … almost champagney.” Ink photo director Jennifer Hack wasn’t as kind: “It’s definitely a canned beer. It reminds me of college or maybe middle school.” The rest of us dug this beer’s refreshing nature and light, fizzy aftertaste.

Rating: 7 points out of 10 (our top score!)

2. Pabst Blue Ribbon

Price: $7.19 for a 12-pack of cans History: In 1844, another German immigrant, Jacob Best, opened a brewery with his four sons. In 1862, Best’s granddaughter married Captain Frederick Pabst, a Great Lakes steamship captain with a passion for beer. Captain Pabst bought half of the brewing company and expanded it exponentially.

Pabst Brewing Co. prides itself on being a working-class beer. Just check out the beer’s Web site, pabst.com, which asks, “is there a better reward for pulling a double shift or dropping a new engine in your truck than a tall, cool PBR?”

Our take: Some of us found PBR to be tasteless, and others, well, hated it. Lindsay said “it tastes really cheap when you burp,” and Monica compared its smell to urine. PBR fan Jeremiah called it “the gross one.”

Jennifer was the only one who liked the taste: “It’s an easy, light beer, good for drinking games. It might be good with a lemon.”

Rating: 4

3. Miller High Life Light

Price: $7.99 for a 12-pack of bottles History: Frederick John Miller came to the U.S. from — surprise! — Germany in 1854 and started up a brewing business in 1855. Miller was one of the first brewers in the country to try packaging beer in bottles instead of cans.

In 1903, Miller dubbed its top-selling beer High Life and the champagne of beers was born, according to millerbrewing.com.

Our take: “Kind of musty,” noted Jennifer. “Smells like a gorilla.” Writer Monica Watrous said the beer was “not horrible.” Jeremiah was especially harsh: He said Miller High Life Light smelled “kind of like the bathroom at Buzzard Beach.” Ouch.

Rating: 3

4. Schlitz

Price: $7.99 for a 12-pack of cans

History: The Milwaukee-based Joseph Schlitz Brewing Co., founded in 1856, became “the beer that made Milwaukee famous” after it sent hundreds of barrels of beer to Chicago following the Chicago fire of 1871.

In 1912, Schlitz revolutionized the beer bottling industry by inventing the brown bottle, which prevents light beers from spoiling.

Our take: Monica had a hard time telling this one apart from the first three. Jennifer, who liked the beer’s wheatiness, said she’d drink it if she had a choice.

But our copy editor Liz Garcia didn’t dig what she called “a bitter aftertaste.” Lindsay was a bit more descriptive: “skunky with a rotten aftertaste.”

Rating: 4

5. Olympia

Price: $6.79 for a 12-pack of cans

History: Olympia beer, an offshoot of Pabst Brewing Co., was originally brewed in Tumwater, Wash. The secret, according to pabst.com, is in the water.

“Since 1896, our famous brewing water, superior ingredients and unsurpassed skill as brewers have combined to make ‘Oly’ an affordable beer with a particularly satisfying taste.”

Our take: We liked it. “It’s fresh but flavorful,” Lindsay commented. “I could drink it throughout the night if I had to,” Liz said.

Monica was the only one of us who couldn’t stomach it: “It tastes really cheap. Cheaper than a K-Mart sale.”

Rating: 6

6. Hamm’s

Price: $6.99 for a 12-pack of bottles

History: This St. Paul, Minn., beer has been around a century and a half, but is rather elusive these days. However, you can find it in cans at The Brick.

Hamm’s original jingle went something like this: “Hints of lakes and sunset breezes, dance and sparkle in each glassful, Hamm’s the beer refreshing.”

Our take: “It’s trailer park beer,” Jeremiah said. “Think Pepé le Pew.”

Lindsay said Hamm’s has “that token cheap beer smell,” but Jenn kind of liked it: “It’s dynamic. It wouldn’t be bad for a fourth or a fifth.”

Liz was similarly on the fence: “It’s slightly bitter, but not bad.”

Rating: 3

I've always wonder why people drink cheap beer. Beer is a luxury item by function, so it makes little sense that people pursue unine-tasting rot such as PBR or Miller simply as a funtion of cost. It's always provides me a chuckle when people of whom drive expensive trucks or tricked-out Harleys drink shit-beers. Good beer doesn't cost that much more than crap beer, yet there's a big, big difference in taste. Cheap beer drinkers are on the same level as those people that get Filet Mignon well done. ..What's the point? I'd rather do without. Instead of drinking a sixty pack of ass juice, why not drink a 12 pack of pleasure? Cheap beers is not unlike having THX speakers for a black and white Sony Watchman, circa 1983.

Posted 20 weeks ago by superacidjax

Of course, what kind of beer you drink is a personal preference. But in my life, there's a place for cheap beer as well as quality beer. I drink pricey Boulevard, Red Stripe, Corona, Guinness and the like, but I also like Old Style, PBR and Miller High Life Light sometimes, too. Depends on your mood. And I find the more flavorful the beer, the worse the hangover is the next day.

Posted 19 weeks ago by Sarah Benson