You know the perfect couple. They’re cute, seem to rarely fight. I don’t believe in soul mates or “meant to be,” but sometimes it looks as if two people really were meant to be together.

It makes you jealous — especially if you’re single.

You watch Mr. and Mrs. Perfect while at a dinner party. They’re hosting, of course, and they keep smiling at each other and holding hands. Meanwhile, you and your date argued the whole car ride over. If you have a date, that is. (I’ve been the lone single person at a party full of young married people. That sucks. Really bad.)

You sit there nibbling the aged cheese and drinking the herbaceous wine they picked up and you wonder how they have the energy to have parties, keep a spotless house and be so in love.

You hate them. At the same time, you want to be them. When a mutual friend tells you later that they’ve split up, one thought goes through your head: WTF?

Your faith in love is rocked to the core.

My friend Megan had a similar experience when a co-worker announced recently that she was getting a divorce.

“It was really surprising because she always talked about her mister-man in good ways,” she said. “Why do relationships always look perfect from the outside?”

’Cause you’re outside. And I guess looks can be deceiving.

I watched “Madea’s Family Reunion” with my friend Jeneé awhile back and we started wondering about the couples we know. There’s a beautiful couple in the movie who seem happy and well-suited during a night out dancing with friends. Everything’s fine from a distance. When you get up close, you see it’s not. He’s beating her ass behind closed doors.

Scary. You never know.

Women at church were jealous of Paula Rader because of the way her husband, Dennis Rader, doted on her, helping with her coat and always opening the car door, according to a Time magazine article. Turned out he moonlighted as the BTK killer.

Relationship advice expert and author April Masini reminded me that Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook were seen to be the perfect couple at first, too. Then it was revealed that he was diddling an 18-year-old and having interactive Internet sex liaisons, whatever that means.

“Every couple has its problems. They may not bring it out in public,” Masini said. “The only reason you don’t see it is because you’re not in the relationship.”

How about the couples who make you sit there and wonder how they could possibly be so flawless?

“Those are the ones that really have things that they are hiding because no relationship is perfect,” Masini said. “Ultimately they end up getting divorced.”

I don’t think it’s normal not to fight with someone you’re dating. All of my favorite couples argue at least a little, which says to me there’s passion. I’ve never dated a boy I didn’t fight with, and I’m not even a confrontational person. I am an I’m-almost-always-right person, but not a confrontational one.

Masini said if you avoid problems when you’re dating someone, you’re looking for trouble.

“I don’t care what kind of relationship you’re in, somewhere down the road, you are going to have disagreements,” Masini said. “And the people who don’t, something’s wrong.”

Something like maybe you’re in denial that your partner’s cheating on you. Or you’re a doormat and you’re letting the other person walk all over you. Or you avoid conflict so you never let fights take their natural course.

Not healthy, Masini said.

Yay! I’m normal. Kind of. And so are you, probably. Maybe. I don’t know your life.

Why are we always expecting perfection anyway?

“The media doesn’t help. We paint the picture of what a relationship is supposed to be like,” she said.

Women want romance and white knights. Men want the acrobat nymphomaniac porn stars.

Those are not realistic expectations.

“What makes a perfect relationship is having realistic expectations of one another. Understanding that no one person can be all things,” Masini said.

So women, maybe he won’t know he’s supposed to walk on the side closest to the curb. And guys, maybe she’s no Jenna Jameson in “The Devil in Miss Jones,” but appreciate what you have. Someone out there is probably jealous of you and your perfection.

All 3 of my siblings have really strong marriages. I've never asked them why it is. It might have something to do with the values my parents (married for 30 + years) have instilled in them. If I were to guess, I'd say it probably has something to do with having realistic expectations toward your partner and keeping the communication strong and open. The would never characterize their bonds as 'perfection'. They keep it pretty simple.

Posted 14 weeks ago by Rezn8

it always drives me insanely when i am talking to someone and i mention a silly fight my husband and i had and they get all: oh me and my significant other don't ever fight. all i can think is, you think i have problems? and i was right, this lady at work always stressed how much she and her husband never fought. never. always the best of friends. until he decided to pick up an move to texas while she stayed here. but he wanted to stay married. and she was ok with this. because they were the best of friends. seriously? my husband and i fight about what to have for dinner sometimes (we are not quick decision makers). but at least we are communicating!

Posted 14 weeks ago by satin ink jet

I believe the gentleman that wrote the comment below has everything very correct. My husband and I will fight and life is not always a beautiful bright red bowl of cherries like some couples seem to think. Both people must keep communication strong and open. I also believe the most important thing is to never get to in over your head in anything that could lead to much stress. Simplicity is key to anything and especially in a marriage or any lasting relationship. I love my husband of 5 years and we have a beautiful healthy family and relationship, but it can take work. My parents just as his were married 39 Years before my father passed. My mother will never re-marry as she says she could never love another man like my father. By the way I'm the sister-in-law of the comment posted by Rezn8..Thanks

Posted 14 weeks ago by kcscantlin

I'm in a happy relationship, and we definitely look perfect for each other to all of our friends, but there's a lot of hard work that goes on behind the scenes. It just takes a lot of communication. If I do or say something that upsets her, she lets me know. And I'm patient with her, to make sure I don't over-react. So yeah, communication and patience make a relationship work. That, and sunshine.

Posted 14 weeks ago by paavopetie